Sunday, September 26, 2010

This is how I survive myself...

"you are going to make it out of there alive. you will live to tell your story. never lose hope."


Friends.
Hope.
Love.

Otherwise i'd be nothing...

Thanks Mav.. you saved me tonight...

I search for this.. I long for this..



-king saul fell on his sword when it all went wrong,
and joseph's brothers sold him down the river for a song,
and sonny liston rubbed some tiger balm into his glove.
some things you do for money and some you do for love love love.

raskolnikov felt sick but he couldn't say why
when he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye.
some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun,
but the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one.

love love is going to lead you by the hand
into a white and soundless place.
now we see things as in a mirror dimly.
then we shall see each other face to face.

and way out in seattle young kurt cobain
snuck out to the greenhouse, put a bullet in his brain.
snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above,
some moments last forever, but some flare up with love love love

This is what he said about the song in a radio interview:

"the point of the song is we are very well damaged by the legacy of the romantic poet, that we think of love as a thing that is with strings and is this force for good and then if something bad happens thats not love...I don't know so much about that I don't know that the Greeks weren't right, I think that they were, that love can beat a path through everytihng, that it will destroy alot of things on the way to its objective which is just its expression of itself. You know my stepfather mistreated us terribly quite often, but he loved us and well, that to me is something worth commenting on in the hopes of undoing alot of what I percieve is terrible damage, yet we talk about love as this benign comfortable force:
it is wild."

This is what I'm searching for.. and i suppose why I haven't settled for less. I want something uncontainable.. my heart is capable.. just misdirected.
I want to Love.
Who is going to let me?

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