But i just want to scream. I want people to stop asking me about Paris. I want people to stop saying they are sorry about my "grandpa".
Grandpas die all the time. Papa doesnt. Theres only one Papa and he was EVERYTHING to this family.
I lost both my moms parents when I was 10.. Mema and Papa were supposed to live forever...
He wasnt ready to go.. he woke up that morning and filled up his pill cases for the next month.. and went to do his taxes..
This just isnt right.. not at all.
It only took 15 hours for an infection to rip away the strongest man I ever knew.
I want to cry and then throw up.
I keep having to touch his hand in the casket so that I know hes gone.. cause his hands are cold. He never had cold hands.. his hands were always warm.. he always had a hug and a smile ready.
Make it go away....
He wont be at my wedding.. hes never even met who Im going to marry... He'll never see my kids...
Why did this happen?
Papa - Im holding it together for you.. but I only have a few more days with you and the family.. I dont know what to do.. please... help me. I love you so much....
Im taking care of Mema the way I think you'd want.. and I know you'd be proud of Daddy.. he's taken care of everything.. and got the whole family here.. from 3 different countries and 4 time zones.. to all be here with you.. and for Mema.
I think you taught us all enough, that we will be able to get through this.. But Papa, all of us just want one more day with you.
Ive got to go to sleep before I cry again...
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