48 hours?

Its amazing how so much can change in an instant.

I have spent 4 hours in the last 2 days in completely surrendered worship.

It's amazing really, that the moment Im fighting and so incredibley angry that God would ask me to give up the only thing that makes me feel anything, when he is so out of reach, distant, not tactile, that the girl next to me at the alter would reach across and put her hand on my back.

I've never cried harder.
I have no idea how this is going to play out, but I feel so happy, so at peace. And right now.. so incredibley tired. Up at 330am for a social work count of the homeless in San Diego, and I'm about ready to pass out.

But this is the most satisfying exsausted I've felt in years. :D