Cover Me.

I'm not sure how it's possible for life to feel foreign. I'm also not entirely sure it's a bad thing, but.. confusing and disorienting none the less...


------
"Just give me a second darling
To clear my head
Just put down those scissors baby, on this single bed
The sand in the hourglass is running low
I came through thunder, the cold wind
The rain and the snow
To find you awake by your windowsill
A sight for sore eyes and a view to kill

I broke down in horror at you standing there
The glow from the moon
Shone through cracks in your hair.
I shouted with passion,
"I love you so much"
But feeling my skin, it was cold to the touch.
You whispered "where are you?"
I questioned your doubt
But soon realized, you were talking to God now

You've got blood on your hands
And I know it's mine
I just need more time
So get off your low and let's dance like we used to
But there's a light in the distance
Waiting for me, I will wait for you
So get off your low and let's kiss like we used to

I looked in the mirror
But something was wrong.
I saw you behind but my reflection was gone.
There was smoke in the fireplace
As white as the snow.
A voice beckoned gently
'Now it's time to go'
A requiem played as you begged for forgiveness
"Don't touch me!" I screamed
"I've got unfinished business"

You've got blood on your hands
And I know it's mine
I just need more time
So get off your low and let's dance like we used to
But there's a light in the distance
Waiting for me, I will wait for you
So get off your low, and let's kiss like we used to "
-------------------------

hmmm

MSN's list of 22 things to do before you meet the right guy.

To Build Your Confidence…
1. Go to a movie alone.
2. Lift weights. When I bench-press 45 lbs., I feel like the bomb.
3. Try surfing, water-skiing, or some activity you don't already know how to do. Could be riding a bicycle.
4. Take out the trash, set a mousetrap, do your taxes, build a bookcase.
5. Live alone, or at least move apartments in NYC without the help of family.
6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon.
7. Go to a scary doctor's appointment by yourself. I once dragged myself to a CAT Scan in the dead of winter, all the way over on 1st Ave., post-break-up. I felt like I was made of steel.
8. Quit your job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else's livelihood).
9. Fly to a foreign country by yourself. I was nervous on my first solo trip to Europe, even though I almost always have to travel alone.
10. Learn to stand up for yourself. (If you're not naturally assertive, may I recommend moving to New York City? It did wonders for me.)

To Be Able to Look Back and Say "I Had Fun"…
11. Witness something once-in-a-lifetime, like Jokulsarlon, a lake next to a melting glacier in Iceland (see photo).
12. Revel in being able to watch all the reality TV you want. I'm pretty sure no man will be able to stand as much Bravo TV as my roommate Erica.
13. Get drunk during the day, just because you can. Attend Santacon, the convention for Santas, or something similar.
14. Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.
15. Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and makes you feel like a million bucks.
16. Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.
To Get Perspective…
17. Be a good wing woman. It's not always about you.
18. Chill with your widowed and single grandma. She knows "alone"!
19. Volunteer.
To Make You Appreciate the Next Guy…
20. Do at least one Valentine's Day alone.
21. Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.

22. Date the creeps. You'll really value the nice guys afterward.


Ive done a lot of those. a few of them a couple times.... that last one 3 times ;)

yessss

hahahaha in between questionable and unsavory lies *douche* which means sara nadine is always correct

I've missed Ginny.

On my list of things to learn on the Piano :)
(yes there's a list now)

By golly I'll make it through this night!

:/

I painted your house

To pretty up the town
I know what it's like
When we're caught between a crowd

I know you feel alone
Perhaps it's time we grow
Get out on your own
To build a better Rome

Run, head for the hills
And bundle up the kids
We're planning a plot
And praying that our luck
Gets better

I'm piling up my plates
Counting what I've ate
Because I've got places to go
And I need to fit my clothes

I'm grabbing at straws
And bringing you along
Time can tell its tales
And I only half as well

As long as I'm this far
My face won't play the part
Or fit into the mold
To do what I've been told

I painted your house
To pretty up the town
I try to be good
But all I do is wrong

I know you feel alone
Perhaps it's time we grow
And get out on your own
Build a better Rome

I've been on the road
Trying to make a start
And all my pretty things
They just fall apart
But now I'm coming home
And bringing my guitar
I let slip a god
It's nothing that I want

So I really need a book deal.

If for any reason just because I swear I cannot sleep until I write.

And currently my insomnia has lasted about 45 hours. And those were work days.
BUT! On the other hand.. I just got out of bed, took Grace for a walk at sunrise (Which involved literally shoving her off of me and dragging her out the door, poor thing does'nt sleep much when I don't... except you know.. all day) So anyway we walked down to starbucks where I literally said a blessing over the place for being open at 530.. they are gods.. seriously...

So anyway.. Im chipper.. and fiesty.. and well have no other outlet besides you fine people who decide to occasionally check my blog.
Its only 931 EST, which means I could MAYBE try spontaneously annoying the heck out of some of my closest friends.. And its only 621 PST which means that all of the business/money/mail/shipping/ordering crap that I need to hash out cant be done for another 3 hours...
My parents are asleep... and the dog is still irritated that I bothered her...

But after scrutinizing over many seasons of West Wing I can officially announce that I'm either going to find Bradley Whitford and clone him so that I can wait 23ish years and marry his suitable adorable clone.. or if I realize that he's not nearly as witty as Aaron Sorkin made him out to be.. then I'll just marry Aaron Sorkin instead. lol

- I could blame all of this wit and humor on the lack of sleep and caffeine.. but really I'm just happy. Like the real satisfied-joyful kind. I realized on my walk that I'm where I wanted to be... I mean its stressful, and hard some days.. a lot of days actually.. but I actually have accomplished everything I'd hoped to. And being able to do it on my own means a lot to me. I've had so much help from my family.. but getting my car and my apartment without a ring on my finger has some sort of value to me that I can't really describe. Being able to just think back over what I've done this last year, and not feel all the pain.. really meant a lot to me.

Feels good folks.

T-15 days till the move ;)

MY NEW APT!!!!

  

 

I signed my lease this weekend… and Caitlin is all moved in. This is it its real, and I move in 2 weeks..

I’m so excited I’m trying not to squeal.

The kitchen

the hall and sunshine

Living room

Downstairs bath

Upstairs bathroom

My roooom

The Patio

 

Im so happy I cant handle it

Ps.) On an obnoxious note, this girl keeps playing and replaying this song at work, and now its BURNED into my head…

so its all the music I have for tonight “D

Its 3 am.

I cant sleep.
There's something up but I don't know what it is...
Maybe its because I have an exciting day planned tomorrow?
Maybe its because I'm stressed out about time or money?
Maybe its because I now officially am renting my own apartment?
Maybe its because A gets married this weekend which really freaks me out?
Maybe its because I feel behind?
Maybe its because I feel guilty about things?
Maybe its because of my dreams, and my fears that they are real?
Maybe its just from the sheer strength it takes to not call you and check?

Maybe it was just something I ate?

The worry, angst, fear, desire, excitement, stress, and mind-numbing thoughts that I've downed with a cherry coke tonight, are making it near impossible for my eyes to close.

I just have this feeling again, that if I close them I'll let something else sneak up on me...

I’m going to do this…

I have a ton going for me, and a lot of people who love me. I swear days can’t keep being this terrible.

But hey, my best friends engaged and Im signing my lease this week.

This really is me:

"i believe in pink, i believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. i believe in kissing, kissing a lot. i believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. i believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. i believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. -audrey hepburn

Things will get better.

In the meantime I am kept smiling in my off hours by the wit of Aaron Sorkin, (and the beauty of Bradley Wittford and Rob Lowe)

P.S I love this show. So.. So Much.

Struggling to put my feet down.

Somehow Im supposed to have all the strength to get through all of these new things, completely alone.
I dont.
Im tired.

And I feel so weak because everyone expects more of me...
Im sorry, im broken or something.. but i dont have it.. I really dont.

Your fingertips across my skin The palm trees swaying in the wind… Images

To “A Fine Frenzy”

CONGRADULATIONS!

You have made the very VERY short list of female singers that I can continuously listen to without becoming irritated.

Joining the ranks of Celine Dion and the girl from Caedmon's Call.

You should feel honored,

Leslie

---------------------------------------------

That being said. I’m addicted.

“Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never let forget these images, no
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do”

Hallelujah

Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

WOW.

Its been a crazy couple of weeks, im getting promoted and transfered, im meeting a million different people, im signing a lease in the next week, Ive started paying of my car, and I got to see everyone that I love in this world in the last 2 weeks.

Its no wonder I landed myself in the hospital. lol

Thats how it goes I suppose, I go until I burn myself out. But at least i've made a fast recovery. One night and im back out.. Im like a weeble wabble... I never FULLY fall down
:D

That I'm grateful for.

God is good. He's proven that much. I'm still working so hard, and I think, I really hope and pray, that it is paying off now.

Thanks everyone new and old for following this blog, it has been such a blessing to have the ability to be heard.

-Till next time.
Leslie

I LOVE THIS!

"This is fact, not fiction for the first time in years.."

I'm back :D

Yeah its like this again…

Another night where NO ONE can possibly understand. Well they could.. but no one wants to.

I hate feeling this way.. a lot.

If you understood this… just say something…

“Well I met you at the blood bankWe were looking at the bags
Wondering if any of the colorsMatched any of the names we knew on the tags
You said see look it that's yoursStacked on top with your brothers
See how they resemble one anothers?Even in their plastic little covers
And I said I know it wellThat secret that you know
That you don't know how to tellit f--ks with your honorAnd it teases your head
But you know that its good girlCause its running you with red.

That secret that we knowThat we don't know how to tell
I'm in love with your honorI'm in love with your cheeks
what's that noise up the stairs baby?Is that Christmas morning?
And I know it well (8x)

 

 

Horrible Horrible Day.

I just need a hand to get up this time…

Traffic Jam in the rain =

There's a place I'd like to go somewhere out west,
it's not specific, and the pictures show it best.
I know there's trees I know there's sand and I know there's grass,
I know it's somewhere in the past.
There's a girl out there who's lookin’ for it too,
she's not sure when she'll go or exactly what she'll do.

If i am doomed am I the first on or the last?
Am I just someone from the past?
No one has to hear, the sound of people laughing at their fear, and the ocean and sun are always there, to make you happy if you're feeling scared of the darkness.

If I ever saw a ghost it'd change the way I think.
I wouldn't gasp for air if ever I did sink.
I wouldn't struggle, I'd just let it all out fast,
and then start living in the past.
If we hold the hand that rapes the hand,
and everyone can feel the hand,
and nothing's gonna change,
it could be the time we're living in,
we'll never feel so safe again,
but love always remains

Runnin'

Another year has changed me. I'm running in search of who I am, before I am changed again...

How am I supposed to find her though? Where/When do I find myself.. is it in what I do? Do I actually know myself very well, but as with everything else I'm second guessing? Over Analyzing?

My old theory of waiting for someone to tell me who I am has so many holes in it, I could strain spaghetti through it.


Life swells and turns and sways like the sea.. who are we but simple people riding it out?
I don't like admitting that I am now different.. I really don't. I wish I was carefree, and simple, and easy to please.. but the truth is some days I feel so complicated, that I can't even figure out myself.. not to mention trying to sympathize with someone else who is trying to understand me.

I guess we just keep on. Trust God. Put it all out there day after day. And someday, somehow.. It all works out.. we find ourselves... we find those who love us... and we finish hard knowing we did our best.

- I have to keep believing that, believing IN that.. or else.. whats the point?




Honey I'm pleading
let's put away the sticks and stones
be human beings
I have the sense to be afraid to be a fool

You push me out again
You push me up against a wall
You told me once your body flowed
with milk and honey
but what happened to our boy
inside your tummy?
I have the sense to be afraid, to be a fool
but I'm on the fence
to make you stay or to be cruel

You perfume covered helpless louse,
look on the bright side
See, every time you laugh out loud
I'm crying inside
I have the sense to be afraid, to be the fool
Try commonsense. Make me believe
believe in you

I should have known you'd kick me hard
when I'm on the ground

A darkened boxlike device in which images of external objects, received through an aperture, as with a convex lens, are exhibited in their natural colors on a surface arranged to receive them….

 

 

:D

My fav. driving song so far for the summer.