A love that stands above the lies.

6 July, morning

My angel, my all, my own self — only a few words today, and that too with pencil (with yours) — only till tomorrow is my lodging definitely fixed. What abominable waste of time in such things — why this deep grief, where necessity speaks?

Can our love persist otherwise than through sacrifices, than by not demanding everything? Canst thou change it, that thou are not entirely mine, I not entirely thine? Oh, God, look into beautiful Nature and compose your mind to the inevitable. Love demands everything and is quite right, so it is for me with you, for you with me — only you forget so easily, that I must live for you and for me — were we quite united, you would notice this painful feeling as little as I should . . .

. . . We shall probably soon meet, even today I cannot communicate my remarks to you, which during these days I made about my life — were our hearts close together, I should probably not make any such remarks. My bosom is full, to tell you much — there are moments when I find that speech is nothing at all. Brighten up — remain my true and only treasure, my all, as I to you. The rest the gods must send, what must be for us and shall.

Your faithful

Ludwig

Monday evening, 6 July

You suffer, you, my dearest creature. Just now I perceive that letters must be posted first thing early. Mondays — Thursdays — the only days, when the post goes from here to K. You suffer — oh! Where I am, you are with me, with me and you, I shall arrange that I may live with you. What a life!

So! Without you — pursued by the kindness of the people here and there, whom I mean — to desire to earn just as little as they earn — humility of man towards men — it pains me — and when I regard myself in connection with the Universe, what I am, and what he is — whom one calls the greatest — and yet — there lies herein again the godlike of man. I weep when I think you will probably only receive on Saturday the first news from me — as you too love — yet I love you stronger — but never hide yourself from me. Good night — as I am taking the waters, I must go to bed. Oh God — so near! so far! Is it not a real building of heaven, our Love — but as firm, too, as the citadel of heaven.

Good morning, on 7 July

Even in bed my ideas yearn towards you, my Immortal Beloved, here and there joyfully, then again sadly, awaiting from Fate, whether it will listen to us. I can only live, either altogether with you or not at all. Yes, I have determined to wander about for so long far away, until I can fly into your arms and call myself quite at home with you, can send my soul enveloped by yours into the realm of spirits — yes, I regret, it must be. You will get over it all the more as you know my faithfulness to you; never another one can own my heart, never — never! O God, why must one go away from what one loves so, and yet my life in W. as it is now is a miserable life. Your love made me the happiest and unhappiest at the same time. At my actual age I should need some continuity, sameness of life — can that exist under our circumstances? Angel, I just hear that the post goes out every day — and must close therefore, so that you get the L. at once. Be calm — love me — today — yesterday.

What longing in tears for you — You — my Life — my All — farewell. Oh, go on loving me — never doubt the faithfullest heart

Of your beloved

L

Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

I see it now.

Your small mindedness is appealing.

I always guessed you were pretty dense. But I'm glad I got a one on one chat.
I hate people who choose to be victims. Pretend they know nothing that's going on while others are ripped to shreds so that when it happens to them they can say "I never saw this coming, this is horrible"
I played that game once, I know how it works.

You are the worst kind of coward. Hiding from the truth.
But go ahead act like you didn't see what you did, and take it out on me. I'm built for it. It won't make anything any better though.
Good Luck.

First this, cause im an addict.

Also. DON'T MESS WITH MY FRIENDS IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. BADLY.
Oh and you can get hit by a bus. If your reading this. I'm done.

I can't always be waiting on you...

i need your arms around me, i need to feel your touch
i need your understanding, i need your love so much
you tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care
but when i need you baby, you're never there


on the phone long, long distance
always through such strong resistance
first you say you're too busy
i wonder if you even miss me


never there
you're never there
you're never, ever, ever, ever there


a golden bird that flies away, a candle's fickle flame
to think i held you yesterday, your love was just a game
a golden bird that flies away, a candle's fickle flame
to think i held you yesterday, your love was just a game

you tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care
but when i need you baby
take the time to get to know me
if you want me why can't you just show me
we're always on this roller coaster
if you want me why can't you get closer?


never there
you're never there
you're never ever ever ever there

HAH!

The fact that one of my roommates posted this and all my other roommates liked it, makes me believe... this is going to be an amazing year. HAHAHA

If you forget me.

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

The Gardener

I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, for fear you should laugh.
That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.
I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.
That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of
what I mean.
I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare
not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.
That is why I gave you hard names and boast of my callous
strength.
I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come
out at my lips.
That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart
behind words.
I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my
cowardice should become known to you.
That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your
presence.
Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.

The words she knows, the tune she hums.

I'll scream into the nothingness.

Cannot Freaking Wait. :D

THIS AINT SEAWORRRRRRRRLD.. ok maybe it is...

<3 <3 <3 all my visitors.

Anti-Niavity?

Relationships that start with emails to the entire family. Well... this is different. :)

We had many talks about the past, the one we experienced together and the ones we went through apart, and even though nothing erases all of the terrible memories that both hold, we were able to connect and work through things in a way that makes me very comfortable with all the different aspects of my life.
It's a strange peace, but I still feel it.

I'll stop the world and melt with you. :)