I've been watching "the grizzly man diaries" the mini series about Timothy Treadwell a quite eccentric man who dedicated his life to observing/understanding/protecting wildlife.
I turned it on as background noise while i wrote my paper and completely expected to find it ridiculous... but it's actually quite beautiful. He came back to the same spot for 13 years in a row, and every year the same fox acted as his best friend. Following him around, leading him places, telling him things.
And as I looked over at my cute sleeping golden bundle, I couldn't help but understand this eccentric mans love of the playful animal.

Oh Grace. She is just so great. I swear she recaptures my heart over and over. I think I realized that she is the purest form of me. We have so many of the same weird tenancies and weakness'. Yet she doesnt have the sore/ugly parts of me. I just need her. Not to mention, we both also love Aaron to death. It's assumed that her place is directly between us at all times. Goofball, she has the biggest crush on him. If I walk through the house without him, she just about loses it, yet she has him wrapped around her paw.

I love watching them, I love them interacting, I love that they love each other. I just love our little family, and at this point I want nothing more than to move and be married and with them all day.
<3 <3 <3

*Always Love Photography and Design*

Thank you to my dear friend Katie for these beautiful pictures.

:D

The best part? We are completely as happy as we look :)
177 Days
*Ever Mine, Ever Thine, Ever Ours*

rain.

Oh rain where have you been?
----
Running in the rain does so many things:
Hides my tears.
Blinds me enough that I can pretend I'm running to any of the many places I wish I was.
No one in CA is outside when it rains, so when I collapse from exhaustion and complete inability to go on, no one calls an ambulance.

I swear as long as it kept raining I could have ran home. But then, I remembered what it felt like for my body to be dying.. not emotionally, but physically, I started coughing so hard again, and just couldn't bear to make my family deal with me in the hospital again. So I started home.

Culmination of my break down? I dont understand how to be in love with a God who forgives people like that. And im not sure how to start again.

A God who lets them go on wrecking other peoples lives, and when I finally get rid of them. That type of person is suddenly introduced back into my life, to deal with on a daily basis.

Meanwhile, me and everyone I love have to go through life thinking how much better it would be if the people we love weren't gone for no earthly or sensical reason.

This unfair world where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, where the most successful people are those who never look over their shoulders to notice the suffering of anyone else.

Truthfully,
I was doing fine with it for the most part, until I had to give up surrendering myself. Throwing all my shit on one person semi-annually was therapeutic in the fact that it never affected anyone but me. Not having any room for weakness in my life is literally killing me.

I dont understand. I want to be doing better. I dont want to be weak. But some nights, God, I just dont understand anything.

help.

Halfway around the world
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
First thing that arises in your mind while you awake
Bending you til you break
Let me hold you now

Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Baby don't forget
You haven't lost it all yet

Don't know what your made of
Til the one thing that you want
To come in with the dawn and suddenly changes
Monday, syndicate me, its everyone the same
But all we've lost to the flame
Listen to me now

Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Don't ever forget
We haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure
Is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet

Someday when this is over
We mix it up, no answer
For now its when I hold her
We are closer, we are closer
We are closer, we are closer

Back by popular demand!

Sorry folks, my creative juices have been tied up/used/and all around drained by the wedding. I mean, I've come up with some pretty amazing stuff, but it leaves my blog looking dead and rather abandoned and dead. (It isnt really true, I love you bloggggg.)

Okay, So I figured there has to be some sort of magic recipe to making you all like my blog again so first I'm going to unashamedly post ridiculously cute pictures of the type of dog we are getting in the spring:

Completely free of guilt

This really isnt a cheap scam...

Okay feeling a little guilty, but OMGTHEYARESOCUUUTE!

Yes, aaron and I are on a waiting list for the (second) cutest puppy I've ever seen. (Next to grace, who is sitting on my bed looking at me with a mixture of hunger and bitterness that I can only imagine will end in me losing a limb)
Hopefully we will get said puppy this June. Horray for happy little families!

Speaking of which... Here is me shamelessly addressing how cute aaron and I are.

Okay, now that that is all done. I will make one final attempt by sharing with you all one of the most embarrassing and ridiculous stories of my life.

Okay so I went out with my roommates and had a couple, then Aaron and I came back to my house long enough for me to take my sleeping meds and completely pass out in bed. The last sighting of me was by aaron before he went home, and I was safely in bed asleep.
Well.... The next thing anyone knew.. which was me.. I was face flat on my floor with a 5 foot dresser collapsed on me and a television on my head.
And I swear I do not remember a thing.
Yes, by all definitions I was nearly assassinated by my drawers.
I have no idea how this happened exactly, but all I can say is that if you can at all avoid this happening to you, you should try, as it's painful.
My best guess is that I got up and pulled out one of my drawers causing the weight to distribute wrong and for it to tip over, then the TV which sits on top of it fell onto my head knocking me unconscious. Which would explain the massive headache I've had and the bruises and drawer marks all over my body.
Please reread this and with a picture of me waking up covered in various clothes and Nintendo gaming systems, and having NO idea whats going on.

Ok, well.. that's all the shamelessness I have for the night, plus I have research papers to write and a headache the size of..well a dresser.
Here's hoping you all like me again!

Where I have been.

Well I have pretty much spent the last month driving across the country, eating vegan food for 2 weeks as an experiment, then getting pneumonia and a kidney infection, being in the hospital for an entire week, attempting to get better only to get bronchitis, and now trying to be productive in my first weeks of school.

So there hasn't really been much to write about, aside from a detailed report on the various ER's/hospital rooms I've experienced.

It's been a challenge, a difficult one. I know I wouldnt have gotten through it if it wasn't for Aaron, and my family. I'm so thankful to finally be on the mend, but I would REALLY REALLY like to get back to normal life.

Whatever that is exactly.

I think I'm only writing because I feel reclused from everyone today. It's my own fault, I know. But there's so much I want to say, and cant. Where is all that supposed to go? Somedays the number of answers I dont have really gets to me. But scars heal. And one day, none of this will hurt at all. At least, that's what I pray for.

I feel entirely different then the last time I posted here.

Probably cause I am I suppose.
:D

We're engaged :D I'm so excited for April 9th I could just squeal. So much to do, but seriously I am just elated to be his.

My life is so amazing!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



That's all for now. Stay Tuned!

A love that stands above the lies.

6 July, morning

My angel, my all, my own self — only a few words today, and that too with pencil (with yours) — only till tomorrow is my lodging definitely fixed. What abominable waste of time in such things — why this deep grief, where necessity speaks?

Can our love persist otherwise than through sacrifices, than by not demanding everything? Canst thou change it, that thou are not entirely mine, I not entirely thine? Oh, God, look into beautiful Nature and compose your mind to the inevitable. Love demands everything and is quite right, so it is for me with you, for you with me — only you forget so easily, that I must live for you and for me — were we quite united, you would notice this painful feeling as little as I should . . .

. . . We shall probably soon meet, even today I cannot communicate my remarks to you, which during these days I made about my life — were our hearts close together, I should probably not make any such remarks. My bosom is full, to tell you much — there are moments when I find that speech is nothing at all. Brighten up — remain my true and only treasure, my all, as I to you. The rest the gods must send, what must be for us and shall.

Your faithful

Ludwig

Monday evening, 6 July

You suffer, you, my dearest creature. Just now I perceive that letters must be posted first thing early. Mondays — Thursdays — the only days, when the post goes from here to K. You suffer — oh! Where I am, you are with me, with me and you, I shall arrange that I may live with you. What a life!

So! Without you — pursued by the kindness of the people here and there, whom I mean — to desire to earn just as little as they earn — humility of man towards men — it pains me — and when I regard myself in connection with the Universe, what I am, and what he is — whom one calls the greatest — and yet — there lies herein again the godlike of man. I weep when I think you will probably only receive on Saturday the first news from me — as you too love — yet I love you stronger — but never hide yourself from me. Good night — as I am taking the waters, I must go to bed. Oh God — so near! so far! Is it not a real building of heaven, our Love — but as firm, too, as the citadel of heaven.

Good morning, on 7 July

Even in bed my ideas yearn towards you, my Immortal Beloved, here and there joyfully, then again sadly, awaiting from Fate, whether it will listen to us. I can only live, either altogether with you or not at all. Yes, I have determined to wander about for so long far away, until I can fly into your arms and call myself quite at home with you, can send my soul enveloped by yours into the realm of spirits — yes, I regret, it must be. You will get over it all the more as you know my faithfulness to you; never another one can own my heart, never — never! O God, why must one go away from what one loves so, and yet my life in W. as it is now is a miserable life. Your love made me the happiest and unhappiest at the same time. At my actual age I should need some continuity, sameness of life — can that exist under our circumstances? Angel, I just hear that the post goes out every day — and must close therefore, so that you get the L. at once. Be calm — love me — today — yesterday.

What longing in tears for you — You — my Life — my All — farewell. Oh, go on loving me — never doubt the faithfullest heart

Of your beloved

L

Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

I see it now.

Your small mindedness is appealing.

I always guessed you were pretty dense. But I'm glad I got a one on one chat.
I hate people who choose to be victims. Pretend they know nothing that's going on while others are ripped to shreds so that when it happens to them they can say "I never saw this coming, this is horrible"
I played that game once, I know how it works.

You are the worst kind of coward. Hiding from the truth.
But go ahead act like you didn't see what you did, and take it out on me. I'm built for it. It won't make anything any better though.
Good Luck.

First this, cause im an addict.

Also. DON'T MESS WITH MY FRIENDS IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. BADLY.
Oh and you can get hit by a bus. If your reading this. I'm done.

I can't always be waiting on you...

i need your arms around me, i need to feel your touch
i need your understanding, i need your love so much
you tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care
but when i need you baby, you're never there


on the phone long, long distance
always through such strong resistance
first you say you're too busy
i wonder if you even miss me


never there
you're never there
you're never, ever, ever, ever there


a golden bird that flies away, a candle's fickle flame
to think i held you yesterday, your love was just a game
a golden bird that flies away, a candle's fickle flame
to think i held you yesterday, your love was just a game

you tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care
but when i need you baby
take the time to get to know me
if you want me why can't you just show me
we're always on this roller coaster
if you want me why can't you get closer?


never there
you're never there
you're never ever ever ever there

HAH!

The fact that one of my roommates posted this and all my other roommates liked it, makes me believe... this is going to be an amazing year. HAHAHA

If you forget me.

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

The Gardener

I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, for fear you should laugh.
That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.
I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.
That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of
what I mean.
I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare
not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.
That is why I gave you hard names and boast of my callous
strength.
I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come
out at my lips.
That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart
behind words.
I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my
cowardice should become known to you.
That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your
presence.
Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.

The words she knows, the tune she hums.

I'll scream into the nothingness.

Cannot Freaking Wait. :D

THIS AINT SEAWORRRRRRRRLD.. ok maybe it is...

<3 <3 <3 all my visitors.

Anti-Niavity?

Relationships that start with emails to the entire family. Well... this is different. :)

We had many talks about the past, the one we experienced together and the ones we went through apart, and even though nothing erases all of the terrible memories that both hold, we were able to connect and work through things in a way that makes me very comfortable with all the different aspects of my life.
It's a strange peace, but I still feel it.

I'll stop the world and melt with you. :)

My face is going to crack.

Because I have been smiling so hard all week :D

Nowww that thats over...

HOLY CRAP THE BEST MONTH OF MY LIFE STARTS RIGHT NOWWW!

Aaron is on his way here, will be here any minute for the week we always wanted to have and never got to!
My mom comes on Sunday!
I have monday off of work and school and the three of us are taking a dolphin cruise!
Aaron leaves tuesday, my mom leaves Wednesday and Chrissy comes Thursday and we are going to SEAWORLD!!!
Then I get to go home and spend a whole weekend with my family for fathers day (because I have the perfect one :) And my pregnant sister :D
Then I come home and two days later..
LAUREN IS HERE TO SPEND THE A WHOLE WEEK IN MY BEACH APARTMENT WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy efffffffffff I'm so excited that it makes me not give a damn about what anyone thinks!

....And on second thought...

YOU ARE RETARDED AND IT COULD NOT POSSIBLY ANNOY ME MORE.
You really think if he didn't want me around, I would be?

Whatever, have fun with your misfit club thinking your life and stupid face is so much better than everyone whose ever hurt you. You live an ignorant small pathetic life, and I hope someday you fall right in it.

Suck it, you passive aggressive bitch.

....No one gets it.

And for some reason that always turns out to be a justification.

EVERYONE hates me for this weakness. I think deep down, even he does, really. I know everyone in his life does, and as is pretty evident so does everyone in mine.

I get physically sick... EVERY DAMN TIME.
Stop being so mad at me.. PLEASE? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying to make it go away, but it will always be pressure cooked because everyone over THERE thinks its ALL me, and everyone on my side thinks it's all him...

The truth is always so very hard to find in this. Maybe because it's all so fake?
I just wish I could permanently find my way out...

I'll be ok...

3 more days. I can make it this time. I'm not going to give up so easily.


But I'd like to make note that this is incredibly unfair.

And one of the stupidest and/or evilest plans yet.

The only thing that helps?

Helping myself.

After a year I finally bought my perfume.
Also a brand new yummy blanket
And made myself pretty this week.


And damn it, I'm fine.

One emo post to Rule them all.

Favorite Song/Sleepy Cover


I needed someone last night and everyone was gone. Seriously about the worst feeling ever.

It makes me want to go back into self-preservation mode. I'm not entirely sure why I ever came out of it anyway..

Summa Schedule

May 24 - Aaron!
May 30 - Mama!
June 2 - Chrissy!
June 16 - Home!
June 24 - Lauren!
July 7 - Move in to the new house!
August 2 - Michigan!!!!! :)
Middle of August - Aaron moves. :D
Gah Gah Gah Gah! :D

So excited :D :D :D

Chachachachanges...

Holy crap everything can turn around really fast.

TWO WEEKS! :D:D:D:D

This is turning out way better than I ever thought :)

2007 Redux.

Torn.






This is why my heart behaves the way it does.

When you get what you Pray for.

What did I ask for?
Someone to sweep in and love me for all my flaws. And of course it seems to be coming from the person I least expected it from.
Is it weird because prayers work in the way I least expect them to? Or because I just never saw myself here?
There's always that little bit in the back of my head that makes me sure I'm doing something wrong.

I'm terrified of being happy. :/
But I really want to be.

Fire Flys and Shooting Stars

It's funny, but until I was asked I hadn't really thought about a lot of this stuff about me. But I's interesting to see all written out:

I love the smell of Rain in the woods, and Sprinklers in the summer heat.
I laugh 8 times louder than anyone I know
I can only sleep on my side
I hate chipped nail polish
I have to wash my face with cold water in the morning, but I take hell hot showers.
I always park my car in neutral, which I think is wrong.. but I cant help it.
I hate roses, they remind me of funerals and apologies.
I live in SD, but I cant stand Bob Marley
I can't stand certain color combination, like Blue and Orange. Eeek.
I'm a stark raving liberal but I'd carry a gun. And I can shoot a Beretta with scary accuracy.
I don't believe in cheery cliche's anymore, but I still find some magic in fireflies and shooting stars.
And my only real goal in life is to be able to achieve an original thought.

Best Days!

I tried.

I wanted to talk to you to give you a heads up. But Im not sure you would have cared anyway. Its clear you havent been around lately, and I know one day when I least expect it, you'll pop up again. I guess I'll just have to stop caring.
I've got to live without the fear of everything you are. I deserve this.

I Have a Beautiful Family...

<3
Home and Sad That I am.. Although the next few months should bring Joy back into my life.
I miss a lot of things, but being at home fixed a most of it.
Now time for bed, so that I can prepare for the next few weeks of school. Gah!

This is how I spent my plane ride back.

= Paranoia. GAH!

Left a message on the moon for you...

When you see it, hopefully you'll get it. Cause I can't reach you any other way.
My heart is breaking again.
- Les

So similar. So Different.

For a day when I wish Good things would happen to Good people.







But the lyrics, always cut me straight to the core. I'm really glad that a lot of people will never understand this feeling.

Weird.

Met someone today who exchanged Lord the of the Rings Jewelry in their relationship, got married in an Castle in Ireland and had On Fire - By Switchfoot as their wedding song.

Possible that I found people as nerdy as me?

My life. True Story.

So do you want to hear my kind of funny story that really isn't that funny but it's the best I've got so I am going to write about it in infinite detail anyway?

Good.

Okay, so I got a check in the mail.

I think that ADHD could be diagnosed more accurately if psychiatrists took a look at how their patients react when presented with a sum of money which can only be accessed after completion of a multi-step task, like going to the bank. Normal people go to the bank to deposit their checks without pausing to feel completely overwhelmed by such a simple process. People with ADD have a much harder time with this task.

A Detailed Analysis of What it's Like Having Severe, Uncontrolled ADHD (and Probably Several Other Undiagnosed Psychological Issues) and Also Needing to Deposit Money in Your Bank Account so That You Can Afford to Purchase More ADHD Medication: A True Story

Step 1: Receive check in mail. Open check. Look at it and think "Oh good. Now I can buy my ADHD medication" because you ran out of ADHD medication three days ago.

Step 2: Get distracted by a flash of light outside. Think that maybe it's lightning. Be excited. Set check on the nearest available horizontal surface which sometimes turns out to be the floor and run to your window. Realize that what you thought was lightning was actually just the headlights of a car that turned onto your street. Feel disappointed, but not for long because now you are in the kitchen and that reminds you that you are hungry. Make a sandwich. Stand in kitchen eating sandwich because your brain cannot be bothered to find a place to sit.

Step 3: Finish sandwich, crumple up dirty napkin and set on counter because your brain cannot be bothered to a) notice that you are holding a dirty napkin, b) think "I don't want this, what do I do with it?" c) come up with a plausible solution to that question and d) take action on whatever solution you come up with. No, instead your brain becomes vaguely aware that you are holding something and that you don't want to hold it anymore because you need your hands to rearrange the magnetic words on your refrigerator into the phrase "monkey butt suck." The fact that you are holding a dirty napkin which should be thrown away doesn't even register. Just "hands full, must empty hands." The simplest solution is to set whatever is in your hands on the nearest horizontal surface just like you did with the check which you have forgotten about entirely.

Step 4: Rearrange magnets to say "enormous mountain tits." This reminds you that you do not have enormous mountain tits. In fact, you don't really have any tits to speak of whatsoever. Feel briefly ashamed of this. Wonder if you will ever get boobs. Start fantasizing about breast enhancement surgery and how you would totally do it if you had enough money. Almost remember that you need to deposit a check in the bank. Don't. Instead, start thinking about the chemical properties of Silicone. Try to recall the exact position of every element in the periodic table to see if you are still smart. Get as far as Germanium and be unable to proceed. Realize that you have to pee really, really bad. Get up, go to the bathroom and time yourself as you pee. Notice that you are out of toilet paper. Panic. Contemplate wiping with the shower curtain - no one would ever notice. Hear Boyfriend unlock door. Be happy that you don't have to wipe with the shower curtain even though you probably wouldn't have done it anyway. Yell for Boyfriend to bring you Kleenex or a paper towel. When Boyfriend brings it to you, he says "Are we out of toilet paper?" You say "Yeah." Boyfriend says "Is it your turn to buy it or mine?" Be unable to remember. Start hating civilization for burdening you with the responsibility of purchasing personal-hygiene products. Start thinking about paper. Paper is weird. We use money, which is made out of paper, to buy toilet paper, which is also made out of paper. We are trading paper for different paper. Almost remember that checks are also made out of paper and that you have one and you need to go trade it in for different paper which you can then trade for a different kind of paper still.

Step 5: Ask Boyfriend about his day. Boyfriend tells you about his day and then asks you how your day was. You say "what?" because you were distracted by thinking about words. Boyfriend asks again and you say "good. I didn't do much." Think about what exactly you did do. You sat on the couch and read Craigslist personals for three hours then you took a shower and got the mail. Almost remember that there was a check in the mail and that you need to go put it in the bank. Don't.

Step 6: Boyfriend finds envelope that check used to be in because you dropped it on the floor as soon as you noticed there was something more interesting inside. He says "Allie, did you get a check in the mail?" You say "Oh yeah! I did!" Boyfriend says "Where is it?" You say "Uhhhhhhh..." Boyfriend says "Really?" You say "I'll find it."

Step 7: Look for check. Look on the counter (of course failing to notice the dirty napkin that is still sitting there), look on the couch, look on the TV - even look in the refrigerator because sometimes you put things in there inadvertently. Finally find check on the floor next to a pile of shoes. Triumphantly declare that you have found the check.

Step 8: Hand check to Boyfriend. He'll know what to do with it. Boyfriend uses one of your word magnets to attach check to refrigerator.

Step 9: Spend the next 10 days noticing check on the refrigerator and contemplating whether or not you should take it to the bank. Start thinking about all of the steps involved: First, you'd have to brush your hair and put on real pants, then you'd have to find the car keys and your wallet - neither of which is easy to do - then you'd have to walk out to the car, get in, start the car and do a three-point turn to get out of the ridiculously tight spot that you are in. THEN you'd have to drive to the bank which is on the other side of town and there are stoplights and left turns involved. And when you actually got to the bank? You'd have to wait in line and then figure out what to say to the teller so you don't sound like an idiot for never remembering how to deposit a check. And you would almost definitely be informed of several overdraft fees that you have incurred as a result of your negligence. Then you'll leave the bank clutching all of twenty dollars that you were allowed to keep after paying off your overdraft fees. Then you'd have to drive all the way back home through the stoplights and left turns and pedestrians and other drivers. And for what? Twenty dollars?

Step 10: Get hungry. Realize that you need money to buy food. Do some calculations and figure out that twenty dollars could actually buy a hell of a lot of noodles. Almost go to bank.

Step 11: Finally decide that you want to go to the bank. Remember that it is Sunday but only after driving all the way to the bank.

Step 12: Be so mentally exhausted from your Sunday excursion that you feel unable to try again on Monday. Rationalize this by telling yourself "well, at least I tried..."

Step 13: Be hit by the reality that trying to deposit a check in the bank means nothing when it comes to actually being able to purchase food. Ask Boyfriend if he will drive you to the bank. Boyfriend reminds you that he works like a real person and therefore will be unable to drive you to the bank. Boyfriend reminds you that you also have a driver's license and a right foot. Assure Boyfriend that you will use both of those things to get yourself to the bank tomorrow.

Step 14: Tomorrow comes. Think about going to the bank. Tell yourself that you'll do it at noon. When noon rolls around, make up some excuse about being in the middle of writing a blog post and reschedule your bank trip for 2:00. At 2:00, be completely engrossed in something trivial. Forget that you told yourself you would go to the bank at 2:00. At 3:30, remember that you had planned to go to the bank at 2:00. Think "Well, it's 3:30 now and the bank closes at 5:00... by the time I got there, it would probably be too late anyway..."

Step 15: Boyfriend asks for the seventeenth time whether you went to the bank. And, for the seventeenth time, you have to make up some tenuous excuse about how something came up even though nothing came up because there is no possible way that you could be busy at this stage in your life. Finally, Boyfriend offers to use his lunch break to drive you to the bank tomorrow. Feel guilty, but also relieved. Offer to make Boyfriend a sandwich so that he can still eat lunch while driving you to the bank.

Step 16: Hear Boyfriend unlocking the door and remember that you were supposed to make him a sandwich. Sprint into the kitchen and put some bacon in the microwave so that you can look like you were caught in the middle of preparing his lunch.

Step 17: Finish making sandwich. Ask Boyfriend if he wants to hear what you wrote on your blog. Boyfriend reluctantly agrees. Read Boyfriend the longest blog post ever and then read all of your comments to him. Boyfriend will be too nice to interrupt you, so just keep reading things as long as you like.

Step 18: Boyfriend finally asks "so are we still going to the bank?" You say "I don't know, should we?" Boyfriend says "Yes" and you realize that when he said "are we still going to the bank," it wasn't so much a question as a prompt.

Step 19: Do not brush hair. Do not put on real pants. Leave the house in a stained sweatshirt that says "Spud's" and a pair of large soccer shorts. Wear slippers.

Step 20: Feel really, really, really, really nervous about going to the bank - what if you actually do have overdraft charges? What if they tell you that you owe them a thousand dollars? What if someone decides to rob the bank while you are there and they shoot you in the head? What if you get in a car accident on the way to the bank and Boyfriend dies and it's all your fault for making him drive you to the bank? What if the collections bureau is at the bank waiting for you and they try to collect all of the medical bills that you owe them right then and there but you only have one hundred dollars so they kill you and use your skin as a bowler's hat - because I would imagine that all collections officers wear bowler's hats.

Step 21: Deposit check without any complications whatsoever.

Step 22: Ask Boyfriend if he can drive you to the pharmacy so you can drop off your prescription for ADD medication. Boyfriend agrees but tells you that he is already going to be late for work, so you should hurry. On the way to the pharmacy, realize that you look like you are some degenerate drug whore and that you fully intend to purchase highly regulated drugs while looking like that. Start to become paranoid that the pharmacist will not believe you when you tell her that you have ADHD. Begin to fear that she will think you are just trying to buy amphetamines to turn a quick dollar on the street.

Step 23: Arrive at Walgreen's. Walk to the back where the pharmacy is. As soon as the pharmacist's desk is within view, notice that there is a very old lady with a walker who is going to get in line before you if you don't hurry. Break into a jog. Arrive at the pharmacist's desk at the exact same time as the old lady. Be overcome with guilt for breaking into a jog to beat out an old woman to fill your prescription for legalized speed. Let the old woman go first. This will be a mistake because the old woman has a question which she feels the need to discuss at length with the pharmacist. Be angry. Hate yourself for being angry at some poor old woman who just needs to ask a question about her medication. Hate God for putting this woman in front of you at such an inconvenient time. Hate Boyfriend for being late and making you feel rushed and therefore primed for old-person-hating.

Step 24: When it's finally your turn, be distracted thinking about hate. The pharmacist will say "Can I help you??" In a disgruntled tone of voice. Snap back to reality and half-jog, half-shuffle up to the counter in an effort to look like you are actually trying to hurry even though you can't be bothered to actually run.

Step 25: Be woefully inadequate at interacting with the pharmacist. Feel like she is definitely suspicious of you for trying to purchase such a highly regulated drug. Try your hardest to not look like someone who would buy ADD medication to sell on the street. Try to work big words into the conversation because maybe if the pharmacist thinks you are smart, she will be less suspicious of you. When the pharmacist asks you for your address and phone number, be temporarily frozen by fear and unable to recall this vital information. Now the pharmacist definitely will think that you just found your prescription lying on the ground and now you are trying to capitalize on it by turning it in, getting some amphetamines and selling them on the street. Be too distracted by your crazy paranoia to actually work on remembering your address and phone number. Panic. Try harder to remember your stupid address. Start wondering how long you have been sitting there trying to remember your address and phone number and whether you will be able to recover from this obvious display of criminal guilt should you actually succeed in recalling your information. Finally remember you address. Say it in the calmest tone of voice possible - a tone of voice that no one with a speed addiction would ever be able to adopt. Speak very slowly so as to give the impression that there is no possible way that you are high on speed. Feel so relieved at remembering your address that you remember your phone number too! Say "So, do you want my phone number now?" because no drug addict would ever volunteer that information and you have basically proven your innocence by doing so. Feel pretty good about yourself until the pharmacist asks for your insurance card. Be unable to find insurance card. Finally remember that you don't have insurance. Tell the pharmacist. The pharmacist will look annoyed, like you not having insurance is some sort of personal affront. Make some sort of connection in your head about how not having insurance will definitely make the pharmacist think that you are a drug dealer.

Step 26: The pharmacist will inform you that you can wait 20 minutes for your prescription or you can come back later. Ask what time they close. The pharmacist says 10:00. Say that you'll come back later.

Step 27: Get dropped off at home by Boyfriend, who is very, very late for work. Feel guilty. Feel incompetent. Make some popcorn and read Best of Craigslist until Boyfriend gets home again. Re-watch the movie that you rented the night before. When it's over, watch it again with the commentary on. At 8:30 PM, remember that you have to go to the pharmacy to pick up your medication before 10:00. Watch the rest of the commentary.

Step 28: Go into the bathroom to brush your hair because you definitely don't want to give the pharmacist the wrong impression a second time. Wonder if you remember how to french-braid. Try to french-braid your hair. Fail at braiding, but succeed at making your hair a matted mess befitting a drug addict. Notice that it is 9:36 PM. Bring your brush with you in the car so that you can make yourself look less like a junkie on the way.

Step 29: Start to worry that the last-minute nature of your pharmacy visit will further arouse the suspicions of the pharmacist. Be almost unable to make yourself go inside.

Step 30: Walk confidently back to the pharmacy area. Accidentally look at a surveillance camera and berate yourself for looking like you have a reason to care whether or not you are being videotaped. Try to act nonchalant. Stop to look at the expensive lotion, like maybe you didn't go to the pharmacy at 9:45 just to pick up amphetamine-based drugs. Finally make your way back to the pharmacist. Luckily, this is a different pharmacist than before. Be overly willing to show this pharmacist your ID. Leave your wallet open on the counter so the pharmacist can see that the name on your driver's license matches the name on your credit card. This will surely prove that you didn't just find your prescription in the street.

Step 31: Pharmacist will say "Do you have any questions about this medication?" You say "Not unless anything has changed!" Because you want the pharmacist to know that you are intimately familiar with this medication because you actually take it, but only as prescribed by your doctor and you don't sell it to teenagers.

Step 32: Go home. Feel exhausted. Ignore the fact that you are sleepy. Stay up until 4:00 AM reading Craigslist and The Bloggess. Fall asleep when you are unable to keep your eyes open any longer. Wake up at 5:00 AM and panic because you are downstairs on the couch and the front door isn't locked and what if there is a serial killer in your house now?

Step 33: Go check all of your locks several times, not neglecting the windows and the door to your creepy cellar.

Step 34: When you are finally almost positive that no one can get in the house, begin the process of making sure that no one is hiding in the house already. Check in closets, behind doors, under the sink, in the stove and under your laundry pile. Be too afraid to check the cellar. Put something heavy on top of the cellar door and go up to bed. Close your bedroom door, lock it and move something heavy in front of it. Realize that you have to pee. Try to hold it, but have to pee badly enough that you cannot go to sleep. Finally get up and move the chest of drawers away from the door, unlock the door and go pee. Return to your room, check the closet again because maybe someone got in there while you were in the bathroom and once you are satisfied that there is no one else in your room, aside from Boyfriend who is doubtlessly annoyed by your paranoid behavior, close the door, lock it and push the chest of drawers in front of it again. Fall asleep.

Step 35: Wake up at 11:00 AM, take your ADD medication (as prescribed by your doctor) and suddenly be able to write a blog post!

Step 36: Be unable to remember how you planned to end you blog post. Get distracted. Start googling shit. Find out that paranoia is a side effect of amphetamine abuse. Feel that you need to defend yourself and the fact that you have always been paranoid even before you got into drugs started taking ADHD medication lest your readers put the pieces together and think that you are addicted to drugs.

I'm not addicted to drugs, by the way.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-am-not-drug-addict-so-stop-thinking.html

You are not alone in this...

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And you are the mother
The mother of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And I will tell the night
Whisper, "Lose your sight"
But I can't move the mountains for you

I come clean.

Plummy :D

Hi baby, I love you already. :)

Love it.

Oh goodness. I take a look at your tiny life sometimes and fall more in love with the fact that I get more out of the air outside my door than you will manage to scrape from all 70 years of your life.

The experiences, the life, the love, the passion, and the Grace&Hope that I have been given in the last 2 years take my breath away.

This is sick.

Thank goodness for dubstep.

My life is sarcastically ironic. Think about it..

Last week I worked 38 hours on top of school with strep, and managed to burn myself about 5 times in different occasions.
I make everyone else look pretty and never have time for myself...and I don't sleep at all and hardly eat, but get paid to watch infants do just that.

I seriously have had about the most terrible busy, exhausting and draining week of my life. I mean.. it's really ok. I just get so worn down..

For days I've found myself just praying that I could catch a break. And you know what? I finally did!

1) I'm changing my major to psych so that my schedule works out and I can get my diploma when I deserve to. Not to mention my schedule is way easier.
2) I'm getting ROOMMATES! Looks like I'll be living in a house with 5 other girls next year, which sounds not so fun, but honestly its WHAT I've been praying for.
My rent will be about half of what it is now, and I will have people to relate to.
Living by myself has been an adventure. And one that I have loved. But I cant work this much and be successful in school, I really can't.
3) I have time to go to the financial class at the rock! Woo hooo! Another 2 hours a week, but it's something I would really like to do for myself.
4) I've started to go to the United Methodist church just down from my house. It's a smaller congregation and as of right now it feels like what I need.

:) :)

Big three days. Also, I have my portfolio made and it's on it's way! Woot Woot :D
Love you all!

Hereeee we go.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Brain Capacity = Full

World Civ Exam II

Augustus Caesar – Transforms roman system into pax romana in 27bc, sets up the senate who serves as a front for his power, Equites: citizens given special permission to ride horses into town
Retires, makes himself a god to be worshiped
Encourages loyalty and expansion by imposing taxes and rewardeding with citizenship
Concept that one is guilty until proven innocent

Alexander the Great –
Son of Philip II
Home schooled by Aristotle
Patterns his conquests by detouring to deal with the gods. (Gordian knot)
Undefeated
35 new cities
Dies of malaria


Muhammad
Born 570 – orphaned
Banu-Hashim Clan
Raised by uncle
Merchant
Khadija – Favorite wife/much older
610 – first revelation by Gabriel in a cave who told him what to write in the Koran
“Islam” means submission
Flys to mountain top on horse named Barrack to meet moses elijia and jesus, then flys to heaven and sees the full Koran
Dies in 632

Five Pillars – Confession of faith
Daily Prayer
Ramadan Fast
Alms – tithe except 2.5 percent
Haij to Mecca
Ibn Sina – Master of Sciences
Al Khorezmi – Algebra
Al Ghazzali – philosophic views
Ibn Rushd – Ties together monotheism and philosophy (argues ghazzali)
Solon – ancient Greek: Σόλων, c. 638 BC – 558 BC) was an Athenian statesman, lawmaker, and poet. He is remembered particularly for his efforts to legislate against political, economic and moral decline in archaic Athens. His reforms failed in the short term yet he is often credited with having laid the foundations for Athenian democracy
Socrates - was a classical Greek Athenian philosopher. Credited as one of the founders of Western philosophy, he is an enigmatic figure known chiefly through the accounts of later classical writers, especially the writings of his students Plato and Xenophon, and the plays of his contemporary Aristophanes
Delian Leauge - The Delian League, founded in 477 BC,[1] was an association of Greek city-states, members numbering between 150[2] to 173,[3] under the leadership of Athens, whose purpose was to continue fighting the Persian Empire after the Greek victory in the Battle of Plataea at the end of the Greco–Persian Wars.
Antigonids - The Antigonid dynasty (Greek: Δυναστεία των Αντιγονιδών) was a dynasty of Hellenistic kings descended from Alexander the Great's general Antigonus I Monophthalmus ("the One-eyed").
Polis – City
Mycenaeans – settlers of small agricultural communities in the greek peninsula of Peloponnesus
Alexander the Great - Alexander III of Macedon (20/21 July 356 – 10/11 June 323 BC), commonly known as Alexander the Great (Greek: Μέγας Ἀλέξανδρος, Mégas Aléxandros), was a king of Macedon or Macedonia (Greek: Βασιλεύς Μακεδόνων), a state in the north eastern region of Greece, and by the age of thirty was the creator of one of the largest empires in ancient history, stretching from the Ionian sea to the Himalaya. He was undefeated in battle and is considered one of the most successful commanders of all time,[1] Born in Pella in 356 BC
Pisastratus - was a tyrant of Athens from 546 to 527/8 BC. His legacy lies primarily in his institution of the Panathenaic Festival and the consequent first attempt at producing a definitive version for Homeric epics
Sparta - or Lacedaemon, was a prominent city-state in ancient Greece, situated on the banks of the River Eurotas in Laconia, in south-eastern Peloponnese.[1] It emerged as a political entity around the 10th century BC, when the invading Dorians subjugated the local, non-Dorian population. From c. 650 BC it rose to become the dominant military land-power in ancient Greece.
Plato - was a Classical Greek philosopher, mathematician, student of Socrates, writer of philosophical dialogues, and founder of the Academy in Athens, the first institution of higher learning in the Western world.
Macedon - was an ancient kingdom, centered in the northeastern part of the Greek peninsula, The rise of Macedon, from a small kingdom at the periphery of Classical Greek affairs, to one which came to dominate the entire Hellenic world, occurred under the reign of Philip II. For a brief period, after the conquests of Alexander the Great, it became the most powerful state in the world, controlling a territory that included the former Persian empire, stretching as far as the Indus River; at that time it inaugurated the Hellenistic period of Ancient Greek civilization.
Ptolemies - Ptolemy, one of the seven somatophylakes (bodyguards) who served as Alexander the Great's generals and deputies, was appointed satrap of Egypt after Alexander's death in 323 BC. In 305 BC, he declared himself King Ptolemy I, later known as "Soter" (saviour). The Egyptians soon accepted the Ptolemies as the successors to the pharaohs of independent Egypt. Ptolemy's family ruled Egypt until the Roman conquest of 30 BC
Athens – Capital of Greece
Oligarchy - is a form of power structure in which power effectively rests with a small number of people. These people could be distinguished by royalty, wealth, family ties, corporate, or military control.
Septuagint – Greek version of the Hebrew bible
Clisthenes - was a noble Athenian of the Alcmaeonid family. He is credited with reforming the constitution of ancient Athens and setting it on a democratic footing in 508/7 BC
Aristotle – was a Greek philosopher, a student of Plato and teacher of Alexander the Great.
Phalanx - greek for finger
Maccabees - were a Jewish rebel army who took control of Judea, which had been a client state of the Seleucid Empire
Tyranny – is one who illegally seizes and controls a governmental power in a polis. Tyrants were a group of individuals who took over many Greek poleis during the uprising of the middle classes in the sixth and seventh centuries BC, ousting the aristocratic governments.
Minoans - civilization that arose on the island of Crete and flourished from approximately the 27th century BC to the 15th century BC
Pericles - was a prominent and influential statesman, orator, and general of Athens during the city's Golden Age—specifically, the time between the Persian and Peloponnesian wars. He was descended, through his mother, from the powerful and historically influential Alcmaeonid family.
Philip II - king (basileus) of the Ancient Greek kingdom of Macedon from 359 BC until his assassination in 336 BC. He was the father of Alexander the Great and Philip III.
Peloponnesian War - The Peloponnesian War, 431 to 404 BC, was an ancient Greek war fought by Athens and its empire against the Peloponnesian League led by Sparta.
Alexandria – Ptolemaic Capital founded by Alexander
Dorians - were one of the four major tribes into which the Ancient Greeks of the Classical period divided themselves.[1] Founded Crete.
Democracy is a form of government in which all citizens have an equal say in the decisions that affect their lives. Ideally, this includes equal (and more or less direct) participation in the proposal, development and passage of legislation into law
Homer - In the Western classical tradition Homer (English pronunciation: /ˈhoʊmər/; Ancient Greek: Ὅμηρος, Hómēros), is the author of the Iliad and the Odyssey, and is revered as the greatest ancient Greek epic poet.
Etruscan civilization is the modern English name given to a civilization of ancient Italy in the area corresponding roughly to Tuscany

A senate is a deliberative assembly, often the upper house or chamber of a legislature or parliament.

The plebs (plebians) were the general body of free landowning Roman citizens (as distinguished from slaves) in Ancient Rome. They were distinct from the higher order of the patricians

Tribune was a title shared by elected officials in the Roman Republic. Tribunes had the power to convene the Plebeian Council and to act as its president, which also gave them the right to propose legislation before it.

The Punic Wars were a series of three wars fought between Rome and Carthage from 264 to 146 BC.[1] At the time, they were probably the largest wars that had ever taken place.

Carthage (Latin: Carthago or Karthago, Ancient Greek: Καρχηδών Karkhēdōn, Arabic: قرطاج Qarṭāj‎, Berber: ⴽⴰⵔⵜⴰⵊⴻⵏ Kartajen, Etruscan: *Carθaza, Modern Hebrew: קרתגו‎ Qartágo, from the Phoenician Qart-ḥadašt[1] meaning New City(Hebrew: Qert Ḥdaša), implying it was a 'new Tyre'[2]) is a major urban centre that has existed for nearly 3,000 years on the Gulf of Tunis, developing from a Phoenician colony of the 1st millennium BC which has given place to the current suburb outside Tunis, Tunisia, with a population (2004 Census) of 20,715.

The Battle of Zama, fought around October 19, 202 BC, marked the final and decisive end of the Second Punic War. A Roman army led by Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus, allied with Berber Numidian forces, defeated a Carthaginianforce led by the legendary commander Hannibal. Soon after this defeat on their home ground, the Carthaginian senate sued for peace, which was given to them by the Roman Republic on rather humiliating terms, ending the 17-year war.

Hannibal, son of Hamilcar Barca[n 1] (247–183 or 182 BC)[n 2] was a Carthaginian military commander and tactician who is popularly credited as one of the most talented commanders in history. His father, Hamilcar Barca, was the leading Carthaginian commander during the First Punic War, his younger brothers were Mago and Hasdrubal, and he was brother-in-law to Hasdrubal the Fair.

Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus (Latin: TI•SEMPRONIVS•TI•F•P•N•GRACCVS) (b.168-163 BC d.133 BC) was a Roman politician of the 2nd century BC and brother of Gaius Gracchus. As a plebeian tribune, his reforms of agrarian legislation caused political turmoil in the Republic. These reforms threatened the holdings of rich landowners in Italy. He was murdered, along with many of his supporters, by members of the Roman Senate and supporters of the conservative Optimate faction.

Gaius Sempronius Gracchus (154 BC – 121 BC) was a Roman politician in the 2nd century BC and brother of the ill-fated reformer Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus. His election to the office of tribune in the years 123 and 122 BC and reformative policies whilst in office prompted a constitutional crisis and his death at the hands of the Roman Senate in 121.

Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix[1] (c. 138 BC – 78 BC), known commonly as Sulla, was a Roman general and statesman. He had the rare distinction of holding the office of consul twice, as well as that of dictator

Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus, also known as Pompey (/ˈpɒmpiː/) or Pompey the Great[1] (Classical Latin abbreviation: CN•POMPEIVS•CN•F•SEX•N•MAGNVS[2]) (September 29, 106 BC – September 29, 48 BC), was a military and political leader of the lateRoman Republic. He came from a wealthy Italian provincial background, and established himself in the ranks of Roman nobility by successful leadership in several campaigns. Sulla addressed him by the cognomen Magnus (the Great) and he was awarded three triumphs.

Gaius Julius Caesar[2] (13 July 100 BC[3] – 15 March 44 BC)[4] was a Roman general and statesman. He played a critical role in the gradual transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire.

octavius/augustus -
Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus (23 September 63 BC – 19 August AD 14) is considered the first emperor of the Roman Empire, which he ruled alone from 27 BC until his death in AD 14.[note 1] Born Gaius Octavius Thurinus, he was adoptedposthumously by his great-uncle Gaius Julius Caesar in 44 BC via his last will and testament, and between then and 27 BC was officially named Gaius Julius Caesar. In 27 BC the Senate awarded him the honorific Augustus ("the revered one"), and thus consequently he was Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus.[note 2] Because of the various names he bore, it is common to call him Octavius when referring to events between 63 and 44 BC, Octavian (or Octavianus) when referring to events between 44 and 27 BC, and Augustus when referring to events after 27 BC. In Greek sources, Augustus is known as Ὀκτάβιος (Octavius), Καῖσαρ (Caesar), Αὔγουστος (Augustus), or Σεβαστός (Sebastos), depending on context.


The Roman equestrian order (Latin: ordo equester) constituted the lower of the two aristocratic classes of ancient Rome, ranking below the patricians (patricii), a hereditary caste that monopolised political power during the regal era (to 501 BC) and during the early Republic (to 338 BC). A member of the equestrian order was known as an eques (plural: equites). Equites in Latin has the general meaning of "horsemen" or "cavalry" (from equus = "horse"), but in this context carries the specific meaning of "knights" in the sense of members of an aristocratic group. To avoid confusion, this article refers to the latter as "knights" or "equestrians".

Tiberius Julius Caesar Augustus (November 16, 42 BC – March 16, AD 37), born Tiberius Claudius Nero, was Roman Emperor from 14 AD to 37 AD. Tiberius was by birth a Claudian, son of Tiberius Claudius Nero and Livia Drusilla. His mother divorced his father and was remarried to Augustus in 39 BC, making him a step-son of Octavian. Tiberius would later marry Augustus' daughter Julia the Elder (from his marriage to Scribonia) and even later be adopted by Augustus, by which act he officially became a Julian, bearing the name Tiberius Julius Caesar. The subsequent emperors after Tiberius would continue this blended dynasty of both families for the next forty years; historians have named it the Julio-Claudian dynasty. In relations to the other emperors of this dynasty, Tiberius was the stepson of Augustus, great-uncle of Caligula, paternal uncle of Claudius, and great-great uncle of Nero.

Latifundia are pieces of property covering very large land areas. The latifundia (Latin: lātus, "spacious" + fundus, "farm, estate")[1] of Roman history were great landed estates, specializing in agriculture destined for export: grain, olive oil, or wine. They were characteristic of Magna Graecia andSicily, of Egypt and the North African Maghreb and of Hispania Baetica in southern Spain. The latifundia were the closest approximation to industrialized agriculture in Antiquity, and their economics depended upon slave labour.
Pax Romana (Latin for "Roman peace") was the long period of relative peace and minimal expansion by military force experienced by the Roman Empire in the 1st and 2nd centuries CE. Since it was established by Caesar Augustus it is sometimes called Pax Augusta. Its span was about 207 years (27 BCE to 180 CE).[1]

Marcus Tullius Cicero ( /ˈsɪsɪroʊ/; Classical Latin: [ˈkikeroː]; January 3, 106 BC – December 7, 43 BC; sometimes anglicized as "Tully"), was a Roman philosopher, statesman, lawyer, political theorist, and Roman constitutionalist. He came from a wealthy municipal family of the equestrian order, and is widely considered one of Rome's greatest orators and prose stylists.[1][2]

he Essenes (in Modern but not in Ancient Hebrew: אִסִּיִים, Isiyim; Greek: Εσσηνοι, Εσσαίοι, or Οσσαιοι; Essēnoi, Essaioi, Ossaioi) were a Jewish religious group that flourished from the 2nd century BCE to the 1st century CE that some scholars claim seceded from the Zadokite priests.[1] Being much fewer in number than the Pharisees and the Sadducees (the other two major sects at the time) the Essenes lived in various cities but congregated in communal life dedicated to asceticism, voluntary poverty, daily immersion, and abstinence from worldly pleasures, including marriage.

Paul the Apostle, also called the Apostle Paul, Paul of Tarsus, and Saint Paul (c. 5 - c. 67 ),[2] was one of the most influential early Christian missionaries, with his writings forming a considerable portion of the New Testament.

The Jewish War (Greek: Ἰουδαϊκοῦ πόλεμος, Ioudaikou polemos), in full Flavius Josephus's Books of the History of the Jewish War against the Romans (Greek: Φλαβίου Ἰωσήπου ἱστορία Ἰουδαϊκοῦ πολέμου πρὸς Ῥωμαίους βιβλία, Phlabiou Iōsēpou historia Ioudaikou polemou pros Rōmaious biblia), also referred to in English as The Wars of the Jews and The History of the Destruction of Jerusalem, is a book written by the 1st century Jewish historian Josephus.

The Silk Road (or network of trade routes across the Asian continent connected East, South, and Western Asia with the Mediterranean world, as well as North and Northeast Africa and Europe.
In recent years, both the maritime and overland Silk Routes are again being used, often closely following the ancient routes.

The Church of the East (Syriac: ܥܕܬܐ ܕܡܕܢܚܐ ʿĒtā d'Maḏənḥā), also known as the Nestorian Church,[note 1] is a Christian church, part of the Syriac tradition of Eastern Christianity. Originally the church of the Persian Sassanid Empire, it quickly spread widely through Asia. Between the 9th and 14th centuries it was the world's largest Christian church in terms of geographical extent, with dioceses stretching from the Mediterranean to China and India. Following a schism in 1552 the Church of the East has been split into two principal communities: the independent Assyrian Church of the East and the Chaldean Catholic Church, an Eastern Catholic church in communion with the Holy See.

Mani (in Middle Persian and Syriac Mānī, Greek Μάνης, Latin Manes; also Μανιχαίος, Latin Manichaeus, from Syriac ܡܐܢܝ ܚܝܐ Mānī ḥayyā "Living Mani", c. AD 216–276), of Iranian origin[1] was the prophet and the founder of Manichaeism, a gnosticreligion of Late Antiquity which was once widespread but is now extinct

Manichaeism ( /ˈmænɪkiː.ɪzəm/;[1] in Modern Persian آیین مانی Āyin e Māni; Chinese: 摩尼教; pinyin: Móní Jiào) was one of the major Iranian Gnostic religions, originating in Sassanid Persia. Although most of the original writings of the founding prophet Mani(in Persian: مانی, Syriac: ܡܐܢܝ, Latin: Manichaeus or Manes) (c. 216–276 AD) have been lost, numerous translations and fragmentary texts have survived. Manichaeism taught an elaborate cosmology describing the struggle between a good, spiritual world of light, and an evil, material world of darkness. Through an ongoing process which takes place in human history, light is gradually removed from the world of matter and returned to the world of light from which it came. Its beliefs can be seen as a synthesis ofChristianity, Zoroastrianism and Buddhism.

A Barracks emperor was a Roman Emperor who seized power by virtue of his command of the army. Barracks emperors were especially common in the period from 235 through 284, during the Crisis of the Third Century. There were approximately fourteen barracks emperors in 33 years, producing an average reign of a little over two years apiece. The resulting instability in the imperial office and the near constant state of civil war and insurrection threatened to destroy the Roman Empire from within and left it vulnerable to attack from without.

The term Tetrarchy (Greek: "leadership of four [people]") describes any system of government where power is divided among four individuals, but usually refers to the tetrarchy instituted by Roman Emperor Diocletian in 293, marking the end of theCrisis of the Third Century and the recovery of the Roman Empire. This Tetrarchy lasted until c.313, when internecine conflict eliminated most of the claimants to power, leaving Constantine in the West and Licinius in the East.

Flavius Odoacer (433[1]–493), also known as Flavius Odovacer, was the 5th-century King of Italy, whose reign is commonly seen as marking the end of the classical Roman Empire in Western Europe and the beginning of the Middle Ages. He is considered the first non-Roman to ever have ruled all of Italy.

The Huns were a group of nomadic people who, appearing from east of the Volga, migrated into Europe c. AD 370 and built up an enormous empire in Europe. Since de Guignes linked them with the Xiongnu, who had been northern neighbours of China 300 years prior to the emergence of the Huns,[1] considerable scholarly effort has been devoted to investigating such a connection. However, there is no evidence for a direct connection between the dominant element of the Xiongnu and that of the Huns.[2] A contemporary mentions that the Huns had a language of their own; very little of it has survived and its relationships have been the subject of debate for centuries. According to predominant theories, their language was a Turkic language, but the theory cannot be confirmed and other theories suggest that the language could be Indo-European or Uralic.[3][4]:744 Numerous other languages were spoken within the Hun paxincluding East Germanic.[5]:202 Their main military technique was mounted archery.

Attila ( /ˈætɪlə/ or /əˈtɪlə/; ?–453), also known as Attila the Hun, was the ruler of the Huns from 434 until his death in 453. He was leader of the Hunnic Empire, which stretched from Germany to the Ural River and from the Danube River to the Baltic Sea. During his rule, he was one of the most fearsome enemies of the Western and Eastern Roman Empire. He invaded the Balkans twice and marched through Gaul (modern France) as far as Orléans before being defeated at the Battle of Châlons. He refrained from attacking either Constantinople or Rome.

Alaric I (Alareiks in the original Gothic) was likely born about 370 on an island named Peuce (the Fir) at the mouth of the Danube in present day Romania. King of the Visigoths from 395–410, Alaric was the first Germanic leader to take the city ofRome. Having originally desired to settle his people in the Roman Empire, he finally sacked the city, marking the decline of imperial power in the west.

The Visigoths (Latin: Visigothi, Wisigothi, Vesi, Visi, Wesi, or Wisi) were one of two main branches of the Goths, the Ostrogoths being the other. Together these tribes were among the Germanic peoples who spread through the late Roman Empire during the Migration Period. The Romanized Visigoths first emerged as a distinct people during the 4th century, initially in the Balkans, where they participated in several wars with Rome. A Visigothic army under Alaric I eventually moved into Italy and famously sacked Rome in 410.

Year 476 (CDLXXVI) was a leap year starting on Thursday (link will display the full calendar) of the Julian calendar. At the time, it was known as the Year of the Consulship of Basiliscus and Armatus (or, less frequently, year 1229 Ab urbe condita). The denomination 476 for this year has been used since the early medieval period, when the Anno Domini calendar era became the prevalent method in Europe for naming years.

The Battle of Adrianople (August 9, 378), sometimes known as the Battle of Hadrianopolis, was fought between a Roman army led by the Roman Emperor Valens and Gothic rebels (largely Thervings as well as Greutungs, non-GothicAlans, and various local rebels) led by Fritigern. The battle took place about 13 kilometres (8.1 mi) north of Adrianople (modern Edirne in European Turkey, near the border with Greece and Bulgaria) in the Roman province of Thracia and ended with an overwhelming victory for the Goths.[1][2]


An icon (from Greek εἰκών eikōn "image") is a religious work of art, most commonly a painting, from Eastern Orthodox Christianity and Catholicism. More broadly the term is used in a wide number of contexts for an image, picture, or representation; it is a sign or likeness that stands for an object by signifying or representing it either concretely or by analogy, as in semiotics; by extension, icon is also used, particularly in modern culture, in the general sense of symbol — i.e. a name, face, picture, edifice or even a person readily recognized as having some well-known significance or embodying certain qualities: one thing, an image or depiction, that represents something else of greater significance through literal or figurative meaning, usually associated with religious, cultural, political, or economic standing.


Iconoclasm[1] is the deliberate destruction of religious icons and other symbols or monuments, usually for religious or political motives. It is a frequent component of major political or religious changes. The term encompasses the more specific destruction of images of a ruler after his death or overthrow (damnatio memoriae), for example, following Akhenaten's death in Ancient Egypt.

Justinian I (Latin: Flavius Petrus Sabbatius Iustinianus; Greek: Φλάβιος Πέτρος Σαββάτιος Ἰουστινιανός) (483– 13 or 14 November 565), commonly known as Justinian the Great, was East Roman (Byzantine) Emperor from 527 to 565. During his reign, Justinian sought to revive the empire's greatness and reconquer the lost western half of the classical Roman Empire.

Caesaropapism is the idea of combining the power of secular government with, or making it superior to, the spiritual authority of the Church; especially concerning the connection of the Church with government. The term caesaropapism (Cäseropapismus) was coined by Max Weber, who defined it as follows: “a secular, caesaropapist ruler... exercises supreme authority in ecclesiastic matters by virtue of his autonomous legitimacy”. According to Weber's political sociology, caesaropapism entails “the complete subordination of priests to secular power.”.[1]
In its extreme form, caesaropapism is a political theory in which the head of state, notably the Emperor ('Caesar', by extension an 'equal' King), is also the supreme head of the church ('papa', pope or analogous religious leader). In this form, it inverts theocracy (or hierocracy in Weber) in which institutions of the Church control the state.

The Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox patriarchates split from one another in the East-West Schism of 1054 AD, and Protestantism came into existence during the Protestant Reformation of the 16th century, splitting from the Roman Catholic Church.[5]

The Orthodox Church, also officially called the Orthodox Catholic Church [note 1] and commonly referred to as the Eastern Orthodox Church,[4] considers itself to be the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church established by Jesus Christ and his Apostlesalmost 2,000 years ago. Orthodoxy is the second largest Christian communion in the world, with an estimated 300 million adherents.

Byzantium (Greek: Βυζάντιον, Byzántion; Latin: BYZANTIVM) was an ancient Greek city, founded by Greek colonists from Megara in 667 BC and named after their king Byzas (Greek: Βύζας, Býzas, genitive Βύζαντος, Býzantos). The name Byzantium is aLatinization of the original name Byzantion. The city was later renamed Constantinople and briefly became the imperial residence of the classical Roman Empire, and then subsequently was, for more than a thousand years, the capital of the Byzantine Empire, the Greek-speaking Roman Empire of late Antiquity and the Middle Ages. Constantinople was captured by the Ottoman Turks, becoming the capital of their empire, in 1453. The name of the city was changed to Istanbul in 1930 following the establishment of modern Turkey.

Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus[3] (c. 27 February 272[2] – 22 May 337), commonly known as Constantine I, Constantine the Great, or Saint Constantine ( /ˈkɒnstəntaɪn/ or /ˈkɒnstəntiːn/),[4] was Roman Emperor from 306 to 337. Well known for being the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity,[notes 4] Constantine reversed the persecutions of his predecessor, Diocletian, and issued the Edict of Milan in 313, which proclaimed religious tolerance of Christians throughout the empire.

Constantinople (Greek: Κωνσταντινούπολις, Latin: Constantinopolis, Ottoman Turkish: قسطنطینیه, Turkish: Kostantiniyye or İstanbul) was the imperial capital of the Roman Empire, the Byzantine/Eastern Roman Empire, the Latin Empire and the Ottoman Empire. Throughout most of the Middle Ages, Constantinople was Europe's largest[1] and wealthiest city.
The Turks have called the city Istanbul since they conquered it in 1453. However, many Westerners continued to call it Constantinople. Not until the 20th century did the Turks formally object, and ask that others use the same name they did.[2][3][4] This took place through the Turkish Postal Service Law, as part of Atatürk's national reforms.[5][6] This name in turn derives from the Greek and Slavic colloquial name Stambol; see Names of Istanbul for fuller discussion.

Gaius Aurelius Valerius Diocletianus[notes 1] (c. 22 December 244[3] – 3 December 311[4]), commonly known as Diocletian, was a Roman Emperor from 284 to 305.

The Battle of Manzikert, or Malazgirt, was fought between the Byzantine Empire and Seljuq forces led by Alp Arslan on August 26, 1071 near Manzikert (modern Malazgirt in Muş Province, Turkey). The decisive defeat of the Byzantine army and the capture of the Emperor Romanos IV Diogenes[5] played an important role in undermining Byzantine authority in Anatolia and Armenia.[6]
The brunt of the battle was borne by the professional soldiers from the eastern and western tagmata, as large numbers of the mercenaries and Anatolian levies fled early and survived the battle.[7] The fallout from Manzikert was nearly disastrous for the empire, with numerous subsequent civil conflicts and an economic crisis severely weakening the empire's ability to adequately defend its borders.[8] This led to the mass movement of Turks into central Anatolia and by 1080, an area of 30,000 square miles (78,000 km2) had been lost to the empire. It took a decade of internal strife before Alexios I Komnenos (1081 to 1118) brought stability back to the empire.

The Fourth Crusade (1202–1204) was originally intended to conquer Muslim-controlled Jerusalem by means of an invasion through Egypt. Instead, in April 1204, the Crusaders of Western Europe invaded and conquered the Christian(Eastern Orthodox) city of Constantinople, capital of the Eastern Roman Empire (Byzantine Empire). This is seen as one of the final acts in the Great Schism between the Eastern Orthodox Church and Roman Catholic Church.
The crusaders established the Latin Empire (1204–1261) and other "Latin" states in the Byzantine lands they conquered.

Kievan Rus'[nb 1] (Old East Slavic Рѹ́сь [rusĭ], Greek: Ρωσία, Latin: Ruscia, Russia, later also Ruthenia,[1][2] Belarusian: Кіеўская Русь, Russian: Ки́евская Русь, romanised: Kievskaya Rus’, [rusʲ], Ukrainian: Ки́ївська Русь romanised:Kyivs'ka Rus’), is the name coined by Nikolai Karamzin for the Medieval state of Rus. The state existed from approximately 880 to sometime in the middle of the 13th century when it disintegrated. It is considered that the Mongol invasion of 1237–1240 greatly contributed to that effect.

Saints Cyril and Methodius (Greek: Κύριλλος καὶ Μεθόδιος, Old Church Slavonic: Кѷриллъ и Меѳодїи[more]) were two Byzantine Greek brothers born in Thessaloniki in the 9th century.[3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10] They became missionaries of Christianity among the Slavic peoples of Bulgaria, Great Moravia and Pannonia. Through their work they influenced the cultural development of all Slavs, for which they received the title "Apostles to the Slavs". They are credited with devising the Glagolitic alphabet, the first alphabet used to transcribe Old Church Slavonic.[11] After their deaths, their pupils continued their missionary work among other Slavs. Both brothers are venerated in the Orthodox Church as saints with the title of "equal-to-apostles". In 1880,Pope Leo XIII introduced their feast into the calendar of the Roman Catholic Church. In 1980, Pope John Paul II declared them co-patron saints of Europe, together with Benedict of Nursia.[12]

Vladimir Sviatoslavich the Great, also sometimes spelled Volodymer Old East Slavic: Володимѣръ Свѧтославичь (c. 958 near Pskov – 15 July 1015, Berestovo) was the grand prince of Kiev who converted to Christianity in 988,[1][2][3] and proceeded to baptise all of Kievan Rus'. His name is spelt variously: in modern Ukrainian, for example, as Volodymyr (Володимир); in Old Church Slavonic and modern Russian, as Vladimir (Владимир); in Old Norse as Valdamarr; and, in modernScandinavian languages, "Valdemar".

The Varangians or Varyags (Old Norse: Væringjar; Greek: Βάραγγοι, Βαριάγοι, Varangoi, Variagoi; Russian and Ukrainian: Варяги, Varyagi / Varyahy; Belarusian: Варагі, Varahi), sometimes referred to as Variagians, were traders, warriors and settlers from the Baltic region, who from the 9th to 11th centuries ventured eastwards and southwards along the rivers of Eastern Europe, through what is now Russia, Belarus and Ukraine. Mainly these people were Vikings ofScandinavian origin,[1][2] embedded in Norse culture, as has been shown by archaeological evidence from their settlements in North Russia, such as Holmgard (Veliky Novgorod) or Aldeigja (Staraya Ladoga) on Volkhov River; Varangians also might have included other peoples from the Baltic shores.

Rurik, or Riurik (Russian: Рюрик; pronounced [ˈrʲʉrʲɪk]; Old East Norse: Rørik; c. 830 – c. 879), is a semi-legendary founder of the Rurik Dynasty which ruled Kievan Rus and later some of its successor states, most notably Russia, for many centuries. The origin of Rurik is uncertain, but according to Russian Primary Chronicles he was a Varangian chieftain who gained control of Ladoga in 862, and moved his capital to Novgorod in 864.