I wish...

you say it...why is it that i havent felt it...

Time is going by
So much faster than I
And I’ve started to regret not spending a little with you

Now I’m
Wondering why
I’ve kept this bottled inside
So I’ve started to regret not telling all of it to you

So if I haven’t yet
I’ve gotta let you know

You’re never gonna be alone
From this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go
I won’t let you fall
You’re never gonna be alone
I’ll hold you until the hurt is gone

And now
As long as I can
I’m holding on with both hands
Cuz forever I believe that there’s nothing I could need but you
So if I haven’t yet
I’ve gotta let you know

You’re never gonna be alone
From this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go
I won’t let you fall
When all hope is gone
I know that you can carry on
We’re gonna take the world along
I’ll hold you until the hurt is gone

You gotta live every single day
Like it’s the only one
What if tomorrow never comes
Don’t let it slip away
Could be our only one
You know its only just begun

Every single day
May be our only one
What if tomorrow never comes
Tomorrow never comes





Time is going by
So much faster than I
And I’ve started to regret not telling all of this to you

Your never gonna be alone
From this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go
I won’t let you fall
When all hope is gone
I know that you can carry on
Were gonna take the world along
I’ll hold you until the hurt is gone

I’m gonna be there all the way
I won’t be missing one more day
I’m gonna be there all the way
I won’t be missing one more day

-sigh-

Its amazing how much you change me

This made my day and i was totally content with where I was.
Sitting in the sun accomplishing a ton, in my flip flops with an ice cream cone..I finally felt like i belong here...
"So Much"

How does it feel to know you're everything I need
The butterflies in my stomach
They could bring me to my knees
How does it feel to know you're everything I want
I've got a hard time saying this
So I'll sing it in a song

Oh I adore the way you carry yourself
With the grace of a thousand angels overhead
I love the way the galaxy starts to melt
When we become one
When we become one
When we become one
When we become one

How does it feel
How does it feel when we get locked into a stare?
Please don't come looking for me
When I get lost in the mess of your hair
How do you feel when everything you've known
Gets thrown aside
Never fear, my dear, 'cause we have nothing left to hide

Oh I adore the way you carry yourself
With the grace of a thousand angels overhead
I love the way the galaxy starts to melt

Hold on to me girl
If you feel your grip getting loose
Just know that I'm right next to you
Hold on to me girl
If you feel your grip getting loose
Just know that I won't let you down

Well, I'm ready
Well, I'm ready
I am ready
To run away with you
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
To run away with me

Pack your things we can leave today
Pack your things we can leave today
Say our goodbyes and get on the train
Say goodbye
Just you and I in the sweet unknown
We can just call each other our home

If I had to choose a way to die
It'd be with you
In a goosebump infested embrace
With my overanxious hands cupping your face
In a goosebump infested embrace
With my overanxious hands cupping your cherub face

How does it feel?

Then i take a trip to see what it is about this that just doesnt feel right..see what your actually thinking, while im lying to myself thinking that youve always wanted this...

Im a schmuck. Id believe anything you tell me, even though youve never been honest.

Now Im here -

goddamn this dusty room
this hazy afternoon
i'm breathing in the silence like never before
this feeling that i get
this one last cigarette
as i lay awake and wait for you to come through that door
oh maybe, maybe, maybe i can share it with you
i behave i behave i behave so i can share it with you

you are not alone dear loneliness
you forgot but i remember this
so stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know
i'm not alone dear loneliness
i thank god that i remember this
so stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know, oh ohh, oh ohhh

you'll dream about somewhere, a smoke will fill the air
as i lay awake and wait for you to walk out that door
i can change, i can change, i can change, but who do you want me to be?
i'm the same, i'm the same, i'm the same, what do you want me to be?

you are not alone dear loneliness
you forgot but i remember this
so stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know oh ohh, oh ohh

i'm not alone dear loneliness
i thank god that i remember this
you're not alone dear loneliness
you forgot but i remember this
oh stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know

i'm not alone dear loneliness
i thank god that i remember this
oh stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know oh ohh, oh ohh, oh ohhh


I never used to be like this...i can only assume its you...

Home..

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm in a cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

It makes me really happy everytime i see it..

;)

This is my way of imagining im somewhere else...

self conclusion - the spill canvas

Fade in, start the scene
Enter beautiful girl
But things are not what they seem
As we stand at the edge of the world

"Excuse me, sir,
But I have plans to die tonight
Oh, and you are directly in my way
And I bet you're gonna say it's not right"
My reply:
"Excuse me, miss
But do you have the slightest clue
Of exactly what you just said to me
And exactly who you're talking to?"

She said, "I don't care, you don't even know me"
I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

"You make it sound so easy to be alive
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day
When everything inside me has died?"
My reply:
"Trust me, girl
I know your legs are pleading to leap
But I offer you this easy choice-
Instead of dying, living with me"

She said, "Are you crazy? You don't even know me."
I said, "I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough
I could stand here all night trying to convince you
But what good would that do?
My offer stands, and you must choose

"All right, you win, but I only give you one night
To prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight
I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap
I will toss myself from these very cliffs
And you'll never see it coming"
"Settle, precious, I know what you're going through
Just ten minutes before you got here I was gonna jump too"

Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

Thinks we should start a riot?

I cant believe i woke up and finished a paper in 10 minutes...or rather wrote an entire paper in 10 minutes...

All I need to do is make it through this practical, and maybe i'll be ok...guess that means that convo will consist of me studying the whole time.

Its so true what my dad always said...I get so much more done when im angry...I just wish it was cause i was motavated at all....
oh well till then its Three Days Grace for me...

There is no real reason i should be so hyper right now..

I actually should be rather sad, I mean, I didnt get any sleep cause im still not used to it never getting cool here, and we still havent invested in a fan. I had an anatomy test friday, then worked all weekend, then didnt do anything sunday cause i was so tired. And I have a test tomorrow and a paper that i havent started yet. But I dont know, even through aerobics class and everything else, I have this rediculously chipper attitude, maybe it was the concert i put on this afternoon, Im not entirely sure. (Thanks to E for making me sing songs very loudly in the shower, thats a concert now apparently)

But either way, todays a good day!
The sun is shining and I'll have a visitor in 54.5 hours....not that anyones counting. : )

Midnight madness tonight??
Not sure i have the energy, we shall see....

Snow Patrol..Open your Eyes

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x4]

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x8]

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you

Some photoshoppin...

yeah...def. needs work

"How can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you?"

I dont think im actually going to fail..

Id really like to thank shannon for the rediculous study session tonight...

"its the serratus anterior, but on the cat its the serratus ventralis, because they are quadrapeds..and since we are mopeds..."

heh...not quite...I love her..

The subject of my studying...well kinda...

She made me draw the above...but seriously..it helped..as much as it hurts to look at.. : )

photoshop?

Well all my complaining lead me to consider investing in something a little better than paint.. idk how much better I am with this though...

the penny vortex??

I should be sleeping...

Or doing homework, or something more productive then this, but i cannot seem to help it. Im too tired to be awake, and too restless to sleep, I keep spending a rediculous amount of time trying to accomplish something that could label me as artsy rather than just plain lazy and sick of doing work. But its not working well when the only way I have to edit my pictures right now is paint...oh which reminds me, I need to post those awesome pictures of my destroyed computer, courtesy of HP!

Its a decent temperature tonight for once, im hoping that i manage to fall asleep before the stupid sprinklers come on at about 3:02...scares me everynight...

Sometimes I wonder if living day to day is actually a do-able thing for me, it seems as though the anxietys of tomorrow allways manage to sink into my today..

• I have a stupid amount of work to do for anatomy


• Anatomy doesnt really matter though, because im not nursing anymore


• I still have to pass


• Of course im going to pass


• heh, do your chemistry and think about it tomorrow

And so here I am. Im just turning on music, because im sick of listening to my own brain...

"No I dont want to battle from beginning to end, I dont want to cycle love or cycle revenge, I dont want to follow death and all of his friends" - Coldplay

Another night where I am convinced that music gives my soul the boost it needs to keep my heart going...
and yet I find that...

I miss those...

"Like the shore needs the sea...

and night needs the moon...

So I'd be lifeless and dark, if it wasnt for you...."

( I have a perfect picture for here...but paint...is the devil..and its just embarressing that Im fighting with a program that belongs in the land of dos and atari....UGH)

*Insert here awsome black and white picture of the sunset, with the colors inverted*

- looks kind of like a black hole...which is I guess what happens when you opposite the colors of the sunset twice..they get mad at you for not appreciating them..and end up looking down right evil...

well w.e it went with my upcoming song lyrics as seen aboove...but by my own rules, I cant put them on "unwritten song" until I finish that thought fully...and Im not anywhere close to finished with these thoughts....

sigh

Here we go..

bada bing, a splash of color...

Here is a screen shot to show what it is that I am doing, while Im supposed to be studying...and the words to that song that is up..

"I'm rackin my braintrying to comprehend how, for some unknown reason, our status will remain as friends I'm destroying my mind trying to understand how with little to no effort you've got me eating out of the palms of your hands
There was not a single spark when my lips landed on yours in the dark,but regardless of what happens next you're my beloved, you just don't know it yet
Tonight I made a secret oath to keep chasing after you and I am not going to stop whether you like it or not We're murdering our livestrying to make it work,but you and I both know that we are a lost cause and nothing more than specks on this Earth
There was not a single spark when my lips landed on yours in the dark,but regardless of what happens next you're my beloved, you just don't know it yet
Tonight I made a secret oath to keep chasing after you and I am not going to stop whether you like it or not
Tonight I made a secret oath to keep chasing after you and I am not going to stop whether you like it or not
Yeah I know you listen to this all alone up in your room I know you love how all this music's about you "

Um..need to pay attention to capturing time?!?

Silly Grant. Your a horrible shoe model...

Would you tell me when to let go? Cause I think Im holding on..

What can black and white say in a picture...

well...you tell me?

Shadows talking to eachother

Winding staircase to where???

The wheels just keep on turning...

I dont think my camera or I know what we are doing...

Paper to write...muscles to study...long night ahead...

Do you know that i could never leave you?and you know i could never beat you?and if i, if i could never find you nevermind, i would not forget you. can i stay alive forever? can i stay alive forever? can i stay alive forever?forever. can i feel a chemical reaction?because i feel a hideous attraction could we share a poison apple?could it be maniacle and awful? can i stay alive forever? can i stay alive forever? can i stay alive forever?forever.