I've been watching "the grizzly man diaries" the mini series about Timothy Treadwell a quite eccentric man who dedicated his life to observing/understanding/protecting wildlife.
I turned it on as background noise while i wrote my paper and completely expected to find it ridiculous... but it's actually quite beautiful. He came back to the same spot for 13 years in a row, and every year the same fox acted as his best friend. Following him around, leading him places, telling him things.
And as I looked over at my cute sleeping golden bundle, I couldn't help but understand this eccentric mans love of the playful animal.
Oh Grace. She is just so great. I swear she recaptures my heart over and over. I think I realized that she is the purest form of me. We have so many of the same weird tenancies and weakness'. Yet she doesnt have the sore/ugly parts of me. I just need her. Not to mention, we both also love Aaron to death. It's assumed that her place is directly between us at all times. Goofball, she has the biggest crush on him. If I walk through the house without him, she just about loses it, yet she has him wrapped around her paw.
I love watching them, I love them interacting, I love that they love each other. I just love our little family, and at this point I want nothing more than to move and be married and with them all day.
<3 <3 <3
Monday, October 17, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
*Always Love Photography and Design*
Thank you to my dear friend Katie for these beautiful pictures.
:D
The best part? We are completely as happy as we look :)
177 Days
*Ever Mine, Ever Thine, Ever Ours*
:D
The best part? We are completely as happy as we look :)
177 Days
*Ever Mine, Ever Thine, Ever Ours*
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
rain.
Oh rain where have you been?
----
Running in the rain does so many things:
Hides my tears.
Blinds me enough that I can pretend I'm running to any of the many places I wish I was.
No one in CA is outside when it rains, so when I collapse from exhaustion and complete inability to go on, no one calls an ambulance.
I swear as long as it kept raining I could have ran home. But then, I remembered what it felt like for my body to be dying.. not emotionally, but physically, I started coughing so hard again, and just couldn't bear to make my family deal with me in the hospital again. So I started home.
Culmination of my break down? I dont understand how to be in love with a God who forgives people like that. And im not sure how to start again.
A God who lets them go on wrecking other peoples lives, and when I finally get rid of them. That type of person is suddenly introduced back into my life, to deal with on a daily basis.
Meanwhile, me and everyone I love have to go through life thinking how much better it would be if the people we love weren't gone for no earthly or sensical reason.
This unfair world where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, where the most successful people are those who never look over their shoulders to notice the suffering of anyone else.
Truthfully,
I was doing fine with it for the most part, until I had to give up surrendering myself. Throwing all my shit on one person semi-annually was therapeutic in the fact that it never affected anyone but me. Not having any room for weakness in my life is literally killing me.
I dont understand. I want to be doing better. I dont want to be weak. But some nights, God, I just dont understand anything.
----
Running in the rain does so many things:
Hides my tears.
Blinds me enough that I can pretend I'm running to any of the many places I wish I was.
No one in CA is outside when it rains, so when I collapse from exhaustion and complete inability to go on, no one calls an ambulance.
I swear as long as it kept raining I could have ran home. But then, I remembered what it felt like for my body to be dying.. not emotionally, but physically, I started coughing so hard again, and just couldn't bear to make my family deal with me in the hospital again. So I started home.
Culmination of my break down? I dont understand how to be in love with a God who forgives people like that. And im not sure how to start again.
A God who lets them go on wrecking other peoples lives, and when I finally get rid of them. That type of person is suddenly introduced back into my life, to deal with on a daily basis.
Meanwhile, me and everyone I love have to go through life thinking how much better it would be if the people we love weren't gone for no earthly or sensical reason.
This unfair world where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, where the most successful people are those who never look over their shoulders to notice the suffering of anyone else.
Truthfully,
I was doing fine with it for the most part, until I had to give up surrendering myself. Throwing all my shit on one person semi-annually was therapeutic in the fact that it never affected anyone but me. Not having any room for weakness in my life is literally killing me.
I dont understand. I want to be doing better. I dont want to be weak. But some nights, God, I just dont understand anything.
help.
Halfway around the world
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
First thing that arises in your mind while you awake
Bending you til you break
Let me hold you now
Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Baby don't forget
You haven't lost it all yet
Don't know what your made of
Til the one thing that you want
To come in with the dawn and suddenly changes
Monday, syndicate me, its everyone the same
But all we've lost to the flame
Listen to me now
Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Don't ever forget
We haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure
Is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet
Someday when this is over
We mix it up, no answer
For now its when I hold her
We are closer, we are closer
We are closer, we are closer
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
First thing that arises in your mind while you awake
Bending you til you break
Let me hold you now
Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Baby don't forget
You haven't lost it all yet
Don't know what your made of
Til the one thing that you want
To come in with the dawn and suddenly changes
Monday, syndicate me, its everyone the same
But all we've lost to the flame
Listen to me now
Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Don't ever forget
We haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure
Is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet
Someday when this is over
We mix it up, no answer
For now its when I hold her
We are closer, we are closer
We are closer, we are closer
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Back by popular demand!
Sorry folks, my creative juices have been tied up/used/and all around drained by the wedding. I mean, I've come up with some pretty amazing stuff, but it leaves my blog looking dead and rather abandoned and dead. (It isnt really true, I love you bloggggg.)
Okay, So I figured there has to be some sort of magic recipe to making you all like my blog again so first I'm going to unashamedly post ridiculously cute pictures of the type of dog we are getting in the spring:
Completely free of guilt
This really isnt a cheap scam...
Okay feeling a little guilty, but OMGTHEYARESOCUUUTE!
Yes, aaron and I are on a waiting list for the (second) cutest puppy I've ever seen. (Next to grace, who is sitting on my bed looking at me with a mixture of hunger and bitterness that I can only imagine will end in me losing a limb)
Hopefully we will get said puppy this June. Horray for happy little families!
Speaking of which... Here is me shamelessly addressing how cute aaron and I are.
Okay, now that that is all done. I will make one final attempt by sharing with you all one of the most embarrassing and ridiculous stories of my life.
Okay so I went out with my roommates and had a couple, then Aaron and I came back to my house long enough for me to take my sleeping meds and completely pass out in bed. The last sighting of me was by aaron before he went home, and I was safely in bed asleep.
Well.... The next thing anyone knew.. which was me.. I was face flat on my floor with a 5 foot dresser collapsed on me and a television on my head.
And I swear I do not remember a thing.
Yes, by all definitions I was nearly assassinated by my drawers.
I have no idea how this happened exactly, but all I can say is that if you can at all avoid this happening to you, you should try, as it's painful.
My best guess is that I got up and pulled out one of my drawers causing the weight to distribute wrong and for it to tip over, then the TV which sits on top of it fell onto my head knocking me unconscious. Which would explain the massive headache I've had and the bruises and drawer marks all over my body.
Please reread this and with a picture of me waking up covered in various clothes and Nintendo gaming systems, and having NO idea whats going on.
Ok, well.. that's all the shamelessness I have for the night, plus I have research papers to write and a headache the size of..well a dresser.
Here's hoping you all like me again!
Okay, So I figured there has to be some sort of magic recipe to making you all like my blog again so first I'm going to unashamedly post ridiculously cute pictures of the type of dog we are getting in the spring:
Completely free of guilt
This really isnt a cheap scam...
Okay feeling a little guilty, but OMGTHEYARESOCUUUTE!
Yes, aaron and I are on a waiting list for the (second) cutest puppy I've ever seen. (Next to grace, who is sitting on my bed looking at me with a mixture of hunger and bitterness that I can only imagine will end in me losing a limb)
Hopefully we will get said puppy this June. Horray for happy little families!
Speaking of which... Here is me shamelessly addressing how cute aaron and I are.
Okay, now that that is all done. I will make one final attempt by sharing with you all one of the most embarrassing and ridiculous stories of my life.
Okay so I went out with my roommates and had a couple, then Aaron and I came back to my house long enough for me to take my sleeping meds and completely pass out in bed. The last sighting of me was by aaron before he went home, and I was safely in bed asleep.
Well.... The next thing anyone knew.. which was me.. I was face flat on my floor with a 5 foot dresser collapsed on me and a television on my head.
And I swear I do not remember a thing.
Yes, by all definitions I was nearly assassinated by my drawers.
I have no idea how this happened exactly, but all I can say is that if you can at all avoid this happening to you, you should try, as it's painful.
My best guess is that I got up and pulled out one of my drawers causing the weight to distribute wrong and for it to tip over, then the TV which sits on top of it fell onto my head knocking me unconscious. Which would explain the massive headache I've had and the bruises and drawer marks all over my body.
Please reread this and with a picture of me waking up covered in various clothes and Nintendo gaming systems, and having NO idea whats going on.
Ok, well.. that's all the shamelessness I have for the night, plus I have research papers to write and a headache the size of..well a dresser.
Here's hoping you all like me again!
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