Its a game, and I wont play it.

Most of the time I try not to think about it, but I swear to God Ive got myself so mad today that I cant hardly contain it.
And on top of that, since Ive started to realize that no one even reads this anyway, I can say whatever I want.

HOW DARE YOU? That is all that is running through my head right now. How dare you quarentine me into this little box that has to deal with YOUR timetables, and the things YOU have to do.
YOU HAVE NO GOD DAMNED IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE PUT ME THROUGH!
Should I count the number of dinners, picnics, weekend gateaways, family vacations, important conversations, that you have interupted and/or RUINED, with JUST my previous boyfriends (not to mention friends/family and otherwise)
I COULD TRY. But itd be a rediculous feat.
But hey I can deal with interruptions and slightly over-emotional whining.

I dealt with it, and perserved through it, because I loved you more than this stupid relationship.

BUT THEN, how about the way once those realtionships became long-distance, you made it nearly IMPOSSIBLE TO CARRY ON WITH EITHER OF THEM. You did EVERYTHING you could to be in that perfectly compromising placee or conversation with me, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it, JUST to make things difficult. Not to mention on top of that the constant persuading me that both of them were SOO NOT RIGHT for me, or how I deserved better than what they offered me, not to mention the slight "suggestion" that YOU could do so much better. Yeah that worked out didnt it?
You asshole.

I used to think it was just something that "I had to deal with" that "it was just the way you were" Until I realized that if I put A THIRD of the effort you did, into doing the SAME THING TO YOU, how much frickin damage it would cause.

But I wouldnt do that. And you know it.
And frankly I dont have to. Being here. Taking it all. And being the person I always was and always have been is enough.


Isnt it?

"Now, don’t just walk away
Pretending everything’s ok
And you don’t care about me
And I know there’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don’t care...

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now, Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?


You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don’t care about it,
And I am givin' up this game
I’m leaving you with all the blame cause I don’t care

Do you really have everything you want?
are you happy now?"