This is hilariously sad…

Ok, so this is terrible, but also one of the funniest things Ive ever read. Basically what happened is that 1st north (the pride and joy of hendricks in all of its comradery) is about to be girl infested, because once again the girl to guy ratio has shifted and they have no where to put all the girls. So they want to move them into a building full of guys. Now no one would have cared normally, but first north has the great advantage of having a 3 person apartment, that allows them to thrown awesome private school parties, (ala hendricks Christmas, in which they dress as scantly clad elves, have fake snow ball fights, and provide nauseating sleigh rides that end in shooting Russians.)  I consider the following  the great battle between mans primal instincts, sexual desire, and territorialism… also the desire to be rule following private school boys….

Chris K, my friend from school posted this note as a cry for help to get the situation resolved.

The replies are hilarious…and the picture that represents what they are trying to save cracks me up too.The guy with the straightener is Izzy, Chris’s roommate, and the guy putting the  gay moves on him is Graham, my GUYRAD date…LOL

I highlight Antony Wright’s comments, they are amazing…

Can't Go to sleep! Read this if you care about 1st north...

Yesterday at 4:02am

So you guys probably hear that first north is going to be a girls hall next year, due to the over flow of girls at PLNU.
Any idea's on how to save 1st north... The apartment guys and I are planning to meet with Bolster, but it would be nice to have some idea's on what PLNU can do to not make this happen.
What can PLNU do with extra girls...?
We need some creativity...
3 girls per room...
Use the covenant...
little help guys/girls... Please!
Remember no 1st north without guys means no hendricks christmas, it brings a lot of conflict, no late night sting pong, no guy times in the lounge, we'll have to be quiet...

Jedidiah Grooters at 6:20am June 21

it will ruin everything that's good about hendricks. that's quite a case.

Antony Wright at 9:29am June 21

First of all, I'ma get mine, and no damn hookers on 1st north will prevent that. Second, you forgot that my package will still be in hendricks, Jed, so there goes that argument. Third, this is the worst thing to happen, ever. I think they should've taken the bottom floor of Young Hall, which has it's own entrance, and separate units, much more isolated. Plus then the freshmen from 1st floor of young would be sent to hendricks, saved from a lifetime of piss and douchebaggery.
My main plan for fighting this: show them how terrible an idea it is by impregnating every single one by 2 weeks into the school year. Jed, there may be a few dragons to slay, can I count on you?
Follow up plan: Have them cook/clean for us, and ignore them at all other points, including those times where I'm running around hendricks with my dong out....
My room is literally the furthest one from the infection, anyone seeking refuge until the scientists discover a cure is welcome to join me.

Scott Callisch at 10:41am June 21

That is actually a great idea Tony! Having the girls go to the 1st floor to Young and putting the freshman in Hendricks instead of Young is a much better idea. The freshmen don't feel shafted being put in a different dorm since they don't even go to Loma yet, and the girls are just transfers and wait-listers so they shouldn't get priority over people who already have rooms! I am definitely going to suggest that to Bolster.

Alex Swanson at 10:43am June 21

all the good looking girls share rooms with the boys. and they are limited to wearing only skimpy bikinis all the time and they have to shower with us.

Mike O'Steen at 1:06pm June 21

Moving the chicks to Young instead sounds like the best idea, and probably the one that would work the best... However, if experience has taught me anything it's that once a change in housing is made, they stick to the plan. I say that if we can't get them to move to Young we make the best of it by trying to change open dorm rules to 10-10 on weekdays and 10-1am on weekends (this is how other private colleges have their coed open dorms).
Also, we should try to get Jeff Bolster to buy Tim the janitor a throne so that he can sit around and tell the girls what to clean, cause that's what they should be doing, not Tim.

Braden Deisher at 1:11pm June 21

I am trying to take this situation with a grain of salt I know this wasn't an easy decision for Res-life. So please if we could keep the insults and derogatory comments to a minimum... they aren't helping the situation... we are better off pointing out errors in logic and our fears that would result from Hendricks being Co- Ed.One anytime a girl  wanted to do laundry they would have to go to the second floor... lets face it if most of the guys in Hendricks are wearing our pants during open dorm the faculty should be ecstatic. But to expect us to do it on every floor 24/7... well I don't know that I could guarantee that girls wouldn't see things they don't want to see. This isn't really an issue of having girls in Hendricks for me as much as it is having girls forced to see things that well lets be honest, they will never understand and would literally scar them for life. Yes I am a Hendricks man and I don't want this to happen but we may have to make some concessions here.

Antony Wright at 1:20pm June 21

God, more open dorm hours is the exact opposite of what I'd ever want ever. Good call on the throne for Tim though.
The problem with the young plan is it's, you know, putting a bunch of girls with a bunch of young dudes. They'd make the news again, except for a series of rape and other such charges, in a dorm with a new RD, an RD who barely even moved off campus at any point.
Logically, I'd say with the additional influence of women around, hall unity, the pants policy, and even grades would suffer. Fact is, the dynamics will change with women around, and some people just don't want to have to put up with that stuff....
Oh, and I forgot this important follow up to the main plan: Refuse to pay child support, or talk to them again after the events of the night.
I think I want to host a contest for who can say the funniest thing about this change.

Adam Haley at 2:15pm June 21

fuck this no girls in hendricks evah

Andrew Sanders at 6:16pm June 21

bollocks

Christopher Koreerat at 6:23pm June 21

maybe some idea's guys... and less of the this is wrong thing... we know that... What are some idea's that Res Life can do with the extra girls.
***young idea= thumbs up

Braden Deisher at 6:52pm June 21

What about even putting them in Wiley.. I mean they have Units and can easily be separated also the guys there are a little older (at least there are no freshmen) and should as a result be more mature and deal with the girls more affectively. Plus that would remove the whole laundry issue from Hendricks AND would put the transfer girls closer to people their own class giving them a much better shot at integrating into the PLNU community.

Christopher Koreerat at 7:07pm June 21

that's what i was thinking... keep the ideas comin

Joshua Hill at 9:32pm June 21

we make the best of it by trying to change open dorm rules to 10-10 on weekdays and 10-1am on weekends (this is how other private colleges have their coed open dorms)." - Mike great idea
and tony i know but we'll just run around naked anyway.
- swans has the best idea as usual.
"all the good looking girls share rooms with the boys. and they are limited to wearing only skimpy bikinis all the time and they have to shower with us."...

this has the potential to either suck or be the most awesome thing ever... im going to opt for #2 until proven wrong. and hey that means more sophs on the other halls, which im totally down for havin yall join us =)