Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"Are there no shadows where you are?"

Im haunted. So much so that I cant sleep anymore. Theres just too much. And everytime I start to move on and forget all about it, when the weight of my heart finally subsides a little, you break back in and totally wreck me.

"Are you so niave to right it wrong? How could you watch as sins forgone? Does what we've done every really belong? Its wasting me away, I feel so wasted away...my chest hurts as I breathe tonight"

I didnt think Id make it through last night. Its to a point where the pain is so great I cant cry. I just lay there, and it seeps into my head, chest and back. Im not even tired anymore. I have a full day and I will go, and I will make the best of it, because I owe that to myself and everyone Ive lost because of this. It wont be the last time I feel like this, there will be a million more nights where I dont even feel apart of myself.

But Im trusting in you, Lord. Thats all I can do. "Your Grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in your hands"


Good Morning.
I wish this had the innocence of being all about you.
It just doesnt anymore.
You just dont know.

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